I'm fat...can I blame my family?

"It is estimated that this generation of children will be the first generation to fail to live longer than their parents generation. Their lifestyle, eating habits and obesity puts them at greater risk
for health problems.": Medical Journal of something something something (basically I stole this off of the web but I don't know the original source...lol).

I am not at all surprised about this. For weeks, I have been slowly...but surely...loosing weight. I have also been spending a great deal of time at my bean pole skinny boyfriends place. My supportive, bad cop, healthy eating boyfriends place.

This last week, I have spent most of my time at home due to my boyfriend's wonky work schedule. And according to the scale, I am up 2-4 pounds. There is no healthy food in the house, and I've had takeaway food three days in a row.

Coincidence? Can I now officially blame my obesity on my family? Can I blame their bad influence and food choices on my weight?

Wouldn't that be nice. But no. I can lament their lack of support. But I am a big girl. I buy my own food. I make the choices of what I eat and don't eat. I know what is right and wrong...even if they don't. A wise man once said "forgive them for they know not what they do". That Jesus sure is a smart man.

So at the end of the day, to avoid being a statistic, I must make the choice to eat better and exercise more. Do I wish for more support and a better environment at home? Sure. And sadly, I think this generation of kids will younger because they are not being raised in an environment where they are made aware of other options, like we were. But still...it's nice to have an excuse. LOL.

Loose sweater.

I tried on my purple sweater today and it was baggy and loose. Yay! My butthead boyfriend was all "it stretched". Asshat. Ignore him.

That is all I have to say.

7 Quick Takes

1) It has been a while since I blogged. I have been busy lately and haven't had a chance to sit down and actually type out the millions of ideas in my head. But I did post a few today so check them out (they are posted below). I am interested in hearing feedback, particularly on the "pursing your passion" topic below.

2) I had an opportunity to hear Bishop Gary Gordon of Whitehorse speak last week and he brought up an interesting thought that I wanted to share. He suggested that while we are all connected (via Facebook, E-mail, Blackberry, other social networks), we aren't really connected with each other. That was a timely message for me as I had an incident with my friends through an email communication snafu, which was born out of a lack of connectedness and really wasn't the best means to communicate my needs.

3) That said, I still love blogging as a form of expression. I also recognize that in some ways, social media has helped me connect with people of whom I would never encounter otherwise.

4) Has anyone seen the show Boardwalk Empire on HBO? Do I ever say enough how much I LOVE Steve Buscemi? I am drawn to his works like a flame to a moth.

5) The Fall colors are particularly vibrant this year. Mark and I went for a walk near the old Griesbach military base through the beautiful trees. Vibrant reds, oranges, yellows, various shades of green all splattered like a painting. What an experience!

6) I have been fascinated with all things Canadian History lately, particularly the history of Pierre Trudeau and the history of Quebec Nationalism.

7) So Mark and I finally got our furniture in from Leon's Furniture. What a gong show! Almost every living room piece was damaged in some way! Grrrr. Once all the furniture is assembled and set up proper, it will look very nice indeed. Our first major couple purchase! Yay!

Personal Passions and living the dream: If not now, when?

One of my favorite bloggers, Carolina Girl, lamented recently on her blog about the struggle she is having to find her life passion and fears that she is missing out on finding "it". (Click here to read the specific post).

I think that unless you are living your passion out (and loving it), we can all relate to her struggle. I can certainly relate, having wasted spent the last 6 years that a job I hated, fooling myself into thinking I could tolerate it because it was a steady job that paid the bills. Or maybe you have liked your job well enough, and it provides all the things you want but you still feel that something is missing in your life.

One of the arguments about pursuing your passion is that it doesn't pay well or that there is no security offered. Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but I found out after six years, the "sure thing" offered no more security and I was promptly laid off. Six years of putting my desires on the back burner, and all it got me was a "thanks but no thanks".


I sort of relate pursing your passion like blowing a piece of bubble gum. There is a procedure that you have to undergo to get the perfect bubble, with considerable risk that it might explode on your face if you push the limits of what is achievable. First you have to prepare the piece to the perfect consistency, and then you have to put effort into blowing so that the bubble can expand. It requires patience and a sense of knowing when to stop.

That said, if it does explode on your face, you can always try again. If the gum looses flavor, you can always stop chewing or try again with a different piece. The risk might be great, but the reward is so amazing.

I finally did find a job, temporary and lasting one year, that I well enjoy. Do I feel passionate about this job? Probably not. But I get a year to test it out and figure if this is what I want to do. But at least it is a step in the right direction. I am also in a new relationship that is leading to a degree of permanence and stability, so my passions will likely change as I consider not just my needs, but the needs of others (spouse, children etc).

I have always wanted to be a romance novel writer and maybe I will become a writer one day, but right now, it's not at the fore front of my thoughts. I also have a number of other dreams and the ranking changes like I change. But it is important to realize that like gum, you can always change the flavor or the brand if what you are pursing is no longer your passion.

Trying to pinpoint one's passion when one is growing and changing and evolving puts limits on your dreams. It doesn't allow you to adapt or change your dreams as your life changes and you acquire new interests.

I also think that maybe living the ordinary life, doing ordinary things, is fine. It's not exciting, but there is something to be said about enjoying the day to day life. There is a certain pleasure in chewing the gum, not just blowing the gum. The opportunities will present themselves and you will know when to go after them.

That all said, it still leaves us with a burning question: If not now, when?

When do you pursue your passions? When do you take the courage and risk to blow the bubble? You can't just spend your life chewing and then wondering why you never got to see a bubble. At what point do you need to stop considering the safety in what you have, and the needs of others, to pursue your own desires?

A friend of mine recently said that she puts her husband and her kids first. Commendable and as it should be at this stage of her kids life. But not once did she mention putting her needs first, and not once did she mention herself as a priority, not once did she put importance on her own passions.

So what then? How do you balance the realities of life, like the need to pay rent and the need to eat food, with the burning desire to pursue your passion? I think what makes it harder is when you see people who pursue their passions, at great cost, and they are either happy or have made a success of pursuing their passion at all cost.

Hmmm. I have a feeling that this is the kind of topic that never ends, that you will go back to again and again as you discover different ways of viewing things and experience different stages of your life.

Note to Fat Self: Buh-bye.

Holy crap I am tired of being fat. Plain and simple. And no, I am not just "big-boned" for all you nay-sayers (I'm dinosaur boned if you really want the honest truth). While I appreciate the comments of "you are beautiful just the way you are" and all that drivel, the reality is that I feel disgusting in my skin. This is not just about "being" fat, it's about "feeling" fat.

You can be fat and be completely fine with it. There are a number of fat acceptance societies out there and kudos to them. But for me, I have moved from the stage of being fat and feeling somewhat o.k. with it to feeling fat. To feeling the extra skin on me. To feeling the effect of huffing and puffing up the stairs. To feeling winded running 1/2 a block to the bus stop. To feeling the table at the restaurant with my body because there is not enough space between the chair and the table (although it is of note that my skinny friends have plenty of space, so we can't blame the restaurant, can we?).

Now that I have reached that critical point that I think one needs to reach to get serious about it, I am now taking steps to go from this:



to this:

This is not about a journey, because the measure of the journey can only be measured at the end. This is not about me "getting serious" because trust me, I have been nothing but serious this entire time. I have been either serious about losing weight or serious about gaining weight.


This is about me rethinking the way I view exercise and food.

I can either view food as a pleasure to satisfy my wants and needs

or

I can view food that is a source of fuel for my body, and if I happen to have moments of pleasure, then score!

I can view exercise as this burden that I must participate in to get better/healthier/stronger

or

I can view exercise as this opportunity to find out what I enjoy and if I benefit by feeling healthier/stronger/better than score!

This is all about changing my mindset about how I view food and exercise. This is about me setting my goals and working day by day, step by step, calorie by calorie to achieve success.

I used to view diet as this big ordeal that I must overhaul my entire life if I was to be successful. And to a certain amount, that is true. But, it is a greater ordeal to be overweight. It is an ordeal to deal with the related complications of being overweight. So either way, it's just a matter of choosing which ordeal I want to endure.

I think the choice is easy when I put it that way, so buh-bye fat Dani. I can't say it was a pleasure knowing you, but I learned a lot from you all the same.

Scale vs. Dani.

The cruelest invention ever created by man was the personal scale. It is a dieters tool of torment. It can deliver great news sometimes, but more times than not it delivers awful news to the user. The scale is some sort of evil truth telling prophet. You are faced with the truth about yourself every time you step on one.

A few weeks ago, I stepped on the scale and this is how it initially responded:

It further went on to say that I was:


So now it is a battle of wills. A battle to show the scale that I can lose weight. That I can get into shape. That I can fight the scale and win.

In all fairness to the scale though, it did send me this message before I stepped on:


And hopefully as I battle the scale, I will remember that I am still awesome, even if the scale wins sometimes.

The Boys of Fall

The other day, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend when I happened to notice that the leaves were starting to fade a bit. The little berries for the birds were starting to appear. The weather is getting a crisper. That can only mean one thing: Fall is near.

I know that you summer lovers hate to hear this; most will live in denial right up to winter. But for the rest of us that can't stand the heat, love the vibrant colours, and get's excited at the thought of the start/end of various sport seasons, this is the best news ever. Between the Race for the Cup in Nascar, to the World Series in Baseball, to the start of NFL and College Football, what is not to love about Fall?

Football is starting and no one has captured the excitement better then Kenny Chesney and his video "The Boys of Fall". This song captures every emotion that get's poured into this season. I LOVE this song and I think it will be the song of the end of summer and beginning of Fall for 2010. **Side note: Welcome back to making down home country Kenny Chesney. I loved your beach stuff, but when you connect with your base, you are at your finest form.

7 Quick Takes: Belated Friday Edition. (Vol 1)

Jennifer @ Conversion Diary hosts a meme called 7 Quick Takes. In a nut shell, it's an end of the week thing that you post 7 quick random things. I'm all for it as it's a good way to get some thoughts out that don't require a full post! Plus helps with blog blahs. :) *P.S. I will also have one very shortly posted on my faith blog, Pray With Dani*.

**1**

I am delighted that the new season of Big Brother has started. This is my not-so-secret favourite reality t.v. show. And the twist this year is that there is a saboteur! Should make for some fun shenanigans.

**2**

I have so many books that I want to read right now. Summer always poses an interesting challenge. Do you read the serious book that you have plenty of time to read? Or do you go straight to mindless read to suit your summer A.D.H.D.?

**3**

The job hunt so far kind of sucks. I am slowly coming to the realization that in a down turn economy, the best thing might be that I have to take a temporary full time job with a term limit just to hopefully get my foot in the door.

**4**

I will blog about this at some point later, but can I just give a shout out to the t.v. classic M*A*S*H*? 30 years later and it's still one of the funniest shows on the tube. They sure don't write good comedy anymore.

**5**

I've been having an interesting dialogue with my friend Bonnie about procrastination. I will admit that I do procrastinate....badly...as is evident in the piles of clothes I need to sort through. I'll talk more about this topic....later. LOL!

**6**

I threw a wedding shower for my friend Karen yesterday (of whom I am a bridesmaid for her wedding). It was delightful. The fudge the maid of honour made was fantastic. As a side rant: have people forgotten how to R.S.V.P? So frustrating trying to plan something when no one does the respondez part. I hope that the next wedding I plan is mine (*hint hint to my boyfriend..lol).

**7**

My friend Joanne has a new baby girl who is so adorable. So much so that I counted, and half my photos on my new camera are of her. LOL. In fact, all of my friends kiddo's are cute. Our little "golden kids" are mighty cute I tell ya.

So feel free to comment on any of the above topics. Have a great weekend/week everyone!

Saving Soaps: The case for functional parenting.

Call me old fashioned. Call me a traditionalist. Call me whatever you want. But there is not a day that goes by when I watch soaps that I don't yearn for the return of the traditional family. And by traditional, I don't mean super sweet and happy. But is it too much to ask for the following?

My list of demands:

• The wise patriarchal grandparents who heap advice and wisdom over a pot of tea (which of course implies that old people get air time on soaps).
• That mothers DO NOT sleep with son-in-laws and fathers DO NOT sleep with daughters-in-laws.
  
• That parents DO NOT kill their kids and kids DO NOT kill their parents.
• That families gather together at holidays and other special events. In particular, when your kid is dying/getting married/giving birth, perhaps that might be a good time to fly in instead of staying at your chalet in the Swiss Alps.
• That today's career soap dads take a lesson from Mac Cory (AW, played by the late great Douglass Watson) that no matter how successful you are and how busy you are, family always comes first.
  
• That it is not acceptable to ship off your kids to boarding school for 10 years with no summer visit.

I don't think what I am asking for is unreasonable. And I expect a healthy dose of dysfunction because our families are dysfunctional too.

Once upon a time you used to have family units on soaps. And those families stuck somewhat cohesively with one another. Families like the Cory's, the Martin's, the Bauer's', the Horton's, the Brady's, the Abbots.... the list goes on.

Now it seems like every one is an independent unit that occasionally connects with a family member. That families are so dysfunctional you can't trust that they will turn to each other. You never see the patriarch's or matriarch's anymore and goodness knows, no one turns to them anyways. You seldom see a parent sit down with their children and share good wholesome advice. And worst of all, there is just way too much air time focusing on individuals who have no family history connections on the show at all.

I don't think I am asking for too much, but can the powers that be work hard to restore the family units. That they restore the art of the afternoon tea chat. That they show families occasionally happy, and not just at Christmas? That families turn to one another? I think most viewers want that, because after all, aren't soaps to be a exaggerated expression of our own collective experiences?

Saving Soaps: Old Soap Intros.

T.V. was my babysitter growing up. And that wasn't a bad thing because there were good quality shows for children back then. Did I watch any of those types of shows? Nope. I watched soap operas! I used to have a soap for every hour and even tape them so I could watch them when I got home. I can actually trace pivotal moments in my life by what happened on various soaps. My hardest cry ever was when Jessica died on One Life to Live. I cried for (I kid you not) two full hours. And I honestly feel like when I watch soaps, I escape into this alternate world where the people are real. Even now, my mom and I will have actual discussions about The Young and The Restless and discuss the story lines and characters as if they were real. Or we will go out, but have to get back by 4 because "Y&R is on and it's getting good. Victor knows where Adam is".

Soaps have long been an integral part of my life. Sadly, I don't really watch them as much as I should (save for Y&R) because..well..they haven't really been all that good. What makes things sadder is that any thing that was actually good has been canceled and are now a part of my distant path (GL, AW, Passions). As I watch the landscape of daytime soaps being replaced with trashy talk shows, I wonder what it is that is not connecting viewers with the program?

Sure, there is the case that women work and don't have time. But there are a great number of viewers that are at home like SAHM's, mat leave women, women home sick, unemployed, seniors etc. So why are they not watching anymore?

This week I am going to explore what is happening and what we can do to save our soaps.

The biggest theme that I will have is that soaps today have lost their connection with the past. In the rush to be modern and current, they have strayed so far from what it is that we LOVED about soaps. We loved soaps when they were connected with the past; when family connections mattered. When the world around us buzzed on fast and furiously around us, we could trust that our soaps would be there with the familiar. Anytime you mess with the familiar to cater to the fickle, you alienate those that actually care.

The first sign I noticed when soaps were moving away from their roots was when they started messing with Intros. Intros are the hook. They are the song you hear when you are in another room that is so familiar, you stop what you are doing to watch. Say what you will, but there is something to be said for the simple intro with the classic music.

Here is an example. Let's look at All My Children. For decades, the intro was this great musical intro with a simple sound. The view was of a family album. You could imagine that a grandma was sitting there looking at pics of her family and that for the next hour, you the viewer would be welcomed into their little world to view their family. Have a look.



Stunning isn't it. Doesn't the music evoke some sort of passion? Now let's flash forward to the latest intro (which is one of dozens of changes they have made since they dropped the above, which goes to show they just can't find the right tone to lure a viewer in).



This epileptic graphic vomit of an intro has pictures falling interspersed with what I assume to be the auditions for America's Next Top Model. WTH? Like what is that? It's in your face, not inviting, non-familiar. There is nothing that makes this intro stand out from the other flashy shows in the same time slot.

I think that those that make soaps should take a long hard look at their Intros and try to figure out what message they are conveying. Warm and inviting goes a long way.