25 June 2011

Message to my younger self: things turned out ok.

I stumbled across an old blog that I had (and forgot about). I only had a few posts, and they were my first attempts at blogging.  Some general observations of my younger, twenty-something self: I was extremely witty..and extremely lonely.  Perhaps the severe wittiness covered the pain that it took to grow into myself.

Would I tell myself, knowing what I know now, that it's going to be o.k.?
Would I tell young Dani that I would find that epic, soul-filling, heart-bursting love that I thought only existed in romance novels? 
Would I tell young Dani that all the stress that I experienced, in my then job, would lead to a professional growth that would be an asset and a strength that I would carry forward? 
Would I tell young Dani that the path she dreamed of would be completely different... and better?
Would I tell young Dani that the weight-loss journey never stops?
Would I tell young Dani that she would continue to be witty, but out of a genuine happiness, and not from a place of pain? 
Would I tell young Dani that financial hardships never really stop, but she would eventually learn the value of (and be a better manager of) money?
Would I tell younger Dani that she shouldn't have held back on going to all those places she dreamed of while she had the chance to do so?
Would I tell young Dani to not hold back because of fear?
Would I tell younger Dani to take better care of her health and be more proactive in addressing her respiratory issues she had then?
Would I tell young Dani that things get so much better when she hits her thirties?
Would I tell young Dani that the confidence she lacked (hidden behind her tough and witty exterior) would actually blossom into a real, solid, confidence?

I never though that a blog would be a portal into a life I once lived. That my memories would fade as I move forward, eager to experience new things. That I would have the opportunity to look back and see my own words and thoughts... and be able to look at them with the same eyes, but fresh ones.

To answer my questions: No, I wouldn't tell young Dani anything. Young Dani had to grow and learn and experience to be where she's at today.  And maybe one day, Old Dani will look back at this blog, with old but fresh eyes, and be able to write to thirty-something Dani with words of wisdom on things current Dani can't possibly fathom now.