30 December 2009

The Dani Award Nominations are IN!

The “Dani’s” Award Gala Nominees!

Welcome my pets to the first annual Dani’s! It’s the annual award blog where I bestow my whimsical wisdom on what I thought to be the best things that made me go *squee* in 2009. To hell with the Grammy’s and Emmy’s and golden globes and Oscars! Who doesn’t want a coveted Dani? Vote in the comments section and I will announce the winners next year. *note that your vote may not actually count because I’m a tyrant blogger* Without further adieu….

Best crap song of 2009 even though I liked them anyways award.
The nominations are:
Empire State of Mind feat. Jay Z and Alicia Keyes. I want to fly run to New York right now to get me some of that dream. I might not be a black hoe from the projects, but I have dreams damn it. But until then, can I hear this song one more time because the 5 times an hour just isn’t cutting it.
Meet Me Halfway- The Black Eyed Peas. Because who wants to meet at the destination point and save time, when we could just meet halfway?
Tik Tok- Ke$ha – This is clearly the whore anthem of the year. She is a complete hooch and you have to give props to a girl who likes the attentions of an older douchebag driving a trans-am.
Rain in Africa- Karl Wolff K, this guy is totally cheesy douche. He’s this decades Vanilla Ice. He oooozez manufactured cheese like no one else.

Best trashy reality tv moment that made me all giddy inside award.
The nominations are:
Kathy Griffen hosting New Years with Anderson Cooper on CNN: This was awesomeness on a whole new level. Seriously, she was funny as all shit, yelled at a person passing by on life t.v. and I think made Anderson’s tighty whiteys get all bunched up. It was classic. Youtube search it.
America’s Next Top Model has an offensive photo shoot: It was a beautiful concept in theory. Take some generic looking petite models and have them represent two blended cultures. The makeup had a bit of a white guy playing a black guy with big lips like they did in the oldie movies effect. Nothing screams sensitive like dressing up white girls in with ethnic stereotypes.
The Biggest Loser’s Bob Harper freaks out on Joelle: Bob is like yoga peaceful kabbahla loving teddy bear on a good day. But you get some lazy ass fat mo’fo that doesn’t “pull” her weight in the gym and he turns into a puritan freak show. Dude, it was hilarious. He like freaked out. All things well enjoyed while I munched on a bucket of ice cream. Good thing he wasn’t in my house.
Jersey boys generic looking Italian guy smacks the crap out of Jersy generic looking hooch girl. I have no idea what this show is or why they show it, but some guy smacked a girl in the face. She probably deserved it. (oh come on now…let’s not pretend that some girls don’t deserve a good wallop old school style).
RuPaul’s Drag Race: Read the title folks…do I really need to say more? This was my secret indulgence. It was a hilarious runway type show with drag queens competing for...um…I don’t know. Perhaps a romp in the sack? A free bottle of Neet? It was awesome and bitchy and I witnessed duct tape being used in ways I didn’t think existed. For that reason alone, this show made my list.

Best movie that Dani finally got around to watching because she’s cheap and won’t pay full price to sit in a theater award.
The nominees are:

The Hangover This show totally made my Christmas. So. Funny. Too-doo-loo and F*** you!

Best DILF of 2009. *DILF = Dad I’d like to F****!
The nominees are:

Jon Hamm from Mad Men….old school sexy
Hugh Laurie from House…british sexy
Colin Firth from pretty much any movie that Dani likes…british serious actor sexy
Robert Patrick from The Unit…rugged sexy
Daniel Day Lewis from Nine…artisitic sexy…
JJ’s dad on American Dreams (perpetual nominee selection)…the vintage sexy.

Sexiest Athlete that Dani has a passing interest in and yah, you’d do him too award.
The nominees are:
Dale Earnhardt Jr from Nascar (#88)…redneck sexy
Sheldon Souray from Hockey (The Edmonton Oilers)…smoking out of your league hot sexy.
David Wright from Baseball (The Mets)…earnest sexy
Adam VanKouverden from Rowing (Team Canada)…where the hell was this guy all my life sexy.

Worst Fashion Mistake of 2009 according to Dani’s taste award
The nominees are:
Snuggies ( I love them but I can see why others don’t)
Skinny boy jeans (No guy looks good in these)
Ed Hardy/Christian whatshisfacey shirts. (lame)
Ballet shoes as the only option when trying to buy black dress shoes. Or specifically, the ones that have the top go to close so that her toes are exposed.
Lady Gaga

Sexiest Vampire based on Dani’s weird 2009 paranormal obsession award.
The nominees are:
Eric from True Blood – I would actually want to turn vamp with him.
Bill from True Blood – Southern sexy
Edward from Twilight – Young sexy
Damon from Vampire Diaries – Dangerous sexy

How Dani knew she was a “real Catholic” award
The nominees are:
My baptism
When I had to recite the creed outside of Mass and realized I didn’t know all the words/proper order
When my mind drifts to other topics during the sermon
When I withheld the juicy stuff from confession because I didn’t want the priest to know and judge
When I passed judgement on a fellow parishioner and gossiped about it with my close Catholic friends in the spirit of one upmanship
When I secretly wished for the cute seminarian to avoid the priesthood and marry me instead after ruthlessly flirting with him while serving “apple” juice at a function that I participated in to make me look good and pious. Just call me Eve.

Get your votes in folks!

18 November 2009


Sometimes the television Gods smile down upon us and grace us with quality programming. With all the crap on the tele right now, it's refreshing when you stumble upon something so good it leaves you salivating for more. I must admit that I don't watch a lot of dramatic shows because the quality is ...well...just not that good these days. It's not that there there are no drama's out there, but I'm not wanting to watch dramatic shows that are a blend of comedy/irreverant satire. I just want good old classic drama shows that are smartly acted, written, suspenseful that make me sad when the hour is up and leave me wanting for more.

So imagine my surprise when I accidently stumbled upon MI-5 (a.k.a "Spooks" in the UK). I should have known it was going to be a gooder because it's British Drama and it's televised on PBS, my favorite channel for quality programming. But I had NO IDEA I would go all mad love over it.

Where do I even begin? First of all, and i'm not going to lie...the good looking guy sucked me in. I have hearted Rupert Penry Jones since his commanding (read: sexy) performance in the BBC adaptation of Persuasion. And in researching the show, it appears that the first couple of seasosn, the show starred Matthew McFadyen (see picture in post below), another Austen film alumni. How thrilling.

But sexy guys (and he his sexy), however tempting and enticing, are not enough to keep me glued to the show. And for the record, I'm not normally into suspense type shows involving secret agents and espionage and counter terrorism. I like happy romantic stuff or trashy reality t.v. But MI-5, based on the British Intellegence Organization, has challenged my notions of what I enjoy.

This show kept me glued to the screen, sitting on the edge of my sofa, holding in my breath wondering what was going to happen next. And the thing with this show is that it's not always as you predict. In fact, in one episode, it can result in a happy ending and they are the hero's of the hour. In another, it could all go wrong or a main character can die. You just don't know. And it's fast paced and intellegent, but not so that it swoops above your head in a cloud of confusion. And while it helps to watch previous episodes for underlying arcs, each episode is more or less stand alone and so it's not difficult to jump into.

So anyways, I needed to let the world know that great shows do exist and to watch MI-5 (Sunday's on PBS...and quite possibly on other stations like BBC or A&E but I don't know as I have peasent basic cable).

17 November 2009

Most Romantic Picture Alert.

Is this not the nicest couple pic ever? S'rsly. I know it's just a movie promo (Pride & Prejudice) but still, this is really nice. When I get married, I want a pic just like this (and it would work since I want to have a fall wedding and a Jane Austen inspired regency wedding).

30 October 2009

Random ramblings.

Hello my faithful followers. Welcome back! I apologize for not posting anything recently. I was on a bit of a blogcation. Every once in a while I suffer mental exhaustion where I just have nothing to say, or something to say and no energy to say it. I think I take laziness to a whole new level in October! I've also decided I just can't post about the military every day like I planned. It's taking away from the chaos and joy that is my blog. So my intentions of doing a tribute each day to Rememberance Day just isn't going to happen, although if I do find something incredibly awesome, I will post it!

Without further ado, let me ramble on in my happy little way that I do.

1) U2: I happily purchased pre-sale U2 tickets! But I have to tell you, that well oiled machine called U2 has a weird sort of caste system of purchasing tickets. It's completely infuriating. As with most artists, you have opportunities to buy what are called pre-sale tickets; that is, tickets that go on sale before being released to the general audience. And the way it usually goes is that maybe a few days before, you have fan-club members who get the first piece of the pie. Then they have a special time for radio released pre-sales. Finally, they get released to all, usually a few days after. Going back to the fan-clubs, usually it's one or two words that only they know. But if you are a fan, you get tickets.

Now with U2 on the other hand, it's a whole different system. Fan club members do get tickets. But it's on a tiered system. What tier you fall on depends on when you joined. And you get your own user code. So your code only activates based on the pre-sale time you can log into based on your fan club tier. It's entirely frustrating and stupid. I get why they do it, but still...so ....frustrating.

It's a good thing I LOVE U2.

2) Wii Fit: Guess who got a Wii Fit? Guess? C'mon...I'll give you a hint... she's the fatty typing this blog. Now let me be perfectly clear that I am not technologically adept. The last video console I owned was a Nintendo 64. And let's also be clear that coordination and fine motor skills often come into question when I walk, never mind exercize. Clutsy be thine name.

But as discussed, I'm preciously plump. And I'm tired of being that way. But realistically, I also hate the cold during winter and I don't always have an opportunity to go to the gym, which I also don't care for. So why not create a mini-gym in my house, and one that is fun while we are at it? I have my little mats, my treadmill and elliptical, my videos and now I have this. But this is fun AND it keeps track of your progress! Score on all levels. And let me tell ya, if I can waste hours in front of a tv, why not waste it on video games? It's win win all around.

I have the Biggest Loser Wii game so I will have mini-Bob Harper yell at me. Excellent. Because we all know how much I LOVE BOB HARPER! *Squee*.

Now I just have to avoid the plague that is Rock Band. I think I'm still suffering from carpel tunnel syndrome after playing it at Karen's last weekend.

3) British Music: I'm going to have a post on this later at some point, but let me just emphatically state that I love music that originates from the United Kingdom. Stay tuned....

4) Flu Rant: Ok, I'm going to get this rant out and be done with it. I'm tired of flu paranoia. I'm tired of 50 hour round the clock news coverage on people freaking out because they have to stand in line for 4 hours. I'm tired of hearing that if we don't get this H1N1 vaccination, we will all go down in a heap of misery. And I'm tired of government bothcing this issue up. And I'm tired of pharmaceutical companies dragging their asses on producing vaccinations. And I'm tired of not being able to sneeze without someone giving you the stank eye. And I'm tired of being told I'm sneezing wrong. Sorry if I don't want get snot on my sleeve.

I get it. I get that the flu sucks. I get it that H1N1 sucks. I get that we are all confused about what to do, where to go, what they symptoms are and confused if you have the swine flu or the regular flu or a cold or allergies or the plauge. I get it all. I'm just tired of the paranoia surrounding this and hearing about it and hearing people complain about whatever.
Just shut up everyone!

**Update: I just saw on-line that they are coming out with a U2 Rock Band. Crap. Do I really need four obsessions to collide in such a way?

29 September 2009

Military Poem: In Flander's Field

This poem is an institution in Canada. In fact, i'm willing to bet that adult over the age of 20 can recite this poem verbatim. I have my thoughts about the Poppy as symbol which I am saving for a different blog. But in the meantime, really read the words and reflect on what it means to you.

In Flanders fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses, row on row,

That mark our place; and in the sky

The larks, still bravely singing, fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the dead.

Short days ago we lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

Loved, and were loved, and now we lie

In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:

To you from failing hands we throw

The torch; be yours to hold it high.

If ye break faith with us who die

We shall not sleep, though poppies grow

In Flanders fields.

— Lt.-Col. John McCrae (1872 - 1918)

25 September 2009


Here are some interesting facts behind this famous picture:

  • There are six Flag Raisers on the photo. Four in the front line and two in back.
    The front four are (left to right) Ira Hayes, Franklin Sousley, John Bradley and Harlon Block. The back two are Michael Strank (behind Sousley) and Rene Gagnon (behind Bradley).

  • Strank, Block and Sousley would die shortly afterwards. Bradley, Hayes and Gagnon became national heroes within weeks.

  • The pole weighed over 100 lbs.

  • Iwo Jima was the first place an invader's flag ever flew over Japanese home territory.

  • This flag is now in the Marine Corps Museum, Washington, D.C.

And here are some intresting facts about the Iwo Jima Memorial:

  • The flag raising photo caused an immediate sensation. Just two days after it was first seen in the US, Senators rose on the floor of the US Senate calling for a national monument modeled on the picture. The California State Legislature petitioned the Federal Government to build a grand monument. Thousands of ordinary American's wrote the President appealing for a monument to immortalize the picture they loved.
  • Felix DeWeldon, an ambitious sculptor, had a clay replica of the picture sculpted within 72 hours of seeing the picture.
  • Hundreds of artisans would work 8 years to create the Iwo Jima Monument.
  • Erection of the Statue began September, 1954.
  • The Memorial was dedicated by President Dwight D. Eisenhower on November 10. 1954.
  • Each figure is 32 feet high.
  • The flagpole is 60 feet in length.
  • It's the world's tallest bronze statue. It's stands 78 feet high.
  • A cloth flag flies from the pole.
  • The cost of the statue was $850,000 (1954 Dollars.) No public funds were used. Private donations picked up the tab.
  • The inscription reads:
    "Uncommon Valor was a Common Virtue."

24 September 2009


I run in the path of your commands for you have set my heart free. ~ King David.

23 September 2009

Taking Chance

I won't lie. I love military theme movies. Anyone who watches military movies will know that in every military film, someone dies. Generally, the plot goes as follows:
  • Introduce character by showing him with loving family (usually newly married wife)
  • Show him bonding with his band of brothers
  • They go into battle
  • He miraculously dies saving his buddy
  • Flash forward to buddy going to wife's home and she collapses in his arms and they both cry.

However, the one thing you never see, hear, or even discuss is what happens from the death at the battlefield to the time the body arrives home. And I am certain that most people never even think of all the honor and glory that goes into that process.

My friend Joanne recommended that I watch the HBO movie called Taking Chance (starring Kevin Bacon). It is based on a true journals by Lieutenant Colonel Michael Strobl, USMC. (<- click to read...well worth the read).

Point of Clarification: She did not gently recommend the movie. She rented the movie and then physically brought it over to my house and insisted that I watch it that night with implied threats of what would happen if I didn't watch the movie. (Her husband is a two-term US army veteran so I take all threats seriously..lol).

I can't even begin to express how much I love this movie. I STRONGLY recommend that everyone watch this movie. In fact, I think it should be required as part of the high school curriculum.

Although it was robbed of an Emmy award (because academy voters tend to go for dramatic star-filled heart string movies over movies with subtlety and nuance), it deserves a place of honor in your film catalogue.

I felt like I was watching a watercolor being painted. I felt like I was witnessing the most honorable of human actions with the quietest of dignity. Does anyone ever think of what happens to the body from field to funeral? Do you think about how you feel about a soldier who dies.

So I will leave with a preview and a synopsis. And then you MUST run out and get the movie.

In April 2004, Lieutenant Colonel Michael Strobl, USMC, came across the name of 19-year-old Lance Corporal Chance Phelps, a young Marine who had been killed by hostile fire in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. Strobl, a Desert Storm veteran with 17 years of military service, requested that he be assigned for military escort duty to accompany Chance's remains to his family in Dubois, Wyo.Witnessing the spontaneous outpouring of support and respect for the fallen Marine - from the groundskeepers he passed along the road to the cargo handlers at the airport - Strobl was moved to capture the experience in his personal journal. His first-person account, which began as an official trip report, gives an insight into the military's policy of providing a uniformed escort for all casualties. The story became an Internet phenomenon when it was widely circulated throughout the military community and eventually reached the mainstream media. 'Taking Chance' chronicles one of the silent, virtually unseen journeys that takes place every day across the country, bearing witness to the fallen and all those who, literally and figuratively, carry them home. A uniquely non-political film about the war in Iraq, the film pays tribute to all of the men and women who have given their lives in military service as well as their families. An HBO Films presentation of a Motion Picture Corporation of America and Civil Dawn Pictures production, Taking Chance marks the directorial debut of two-time Oscar®-nominated producer Ross Katz ('Lost in Translation'). The screenplay is by Lt. Col Michael R. Strobl, USMC (Ret.) and Ross Katz, based on the journal of the same name by Strobl, who also serves as military consultant. Strobl, who recently retired after serving 24 years in the U.S. Marine Corps, developed the original story with the strong support of Phelps' parents, John Phelps and Gretchen Mack. The executive producers are Brad Krevoy ('A Love Song for Bobby Long'), Cathy Wischner-Sola and Ross Katz; the co-executive producer is William Teitler (HBO's 'Empire Falls'); and the producer is Lori Keith Douglas ('The Notorious Bettie Page'). HBO Films vice president Jenni Sherwood is the executive in charge of the production.

22 September 2009

Tribute Video

So I had this great idea planned for a blog today, but I'm having a bit of an architectural crisis going on at my home (water leaking from the upstairs tub into my downstairs furnace room/hall closet) so I just couldn't get the energy to post something thoughtful and insightful.

I decided to post this great You Tube Video to express what I cannot.

* Music is from my favourite band of all time, 3 Doors Down, collaborating with my favorite singer of all time, Bob Seeger. Song is called Landing in London from 3DD album 17 Days*

21 September 2009

When You Go Home.

Quote: When you go home, tell them of us and say, for their tomorrow, we gave our today.
I have a friend who is in the Canadian Army. And while our friendship stemmed from the most unusual and funny of circumstances, he is a friend all the same.
And I'm not going to lie. Everytime I hear on the news that another Canadian Soldier has passed away, a part of me prays it's not him. It is the simple reality if you have a friend or a loved one in the military....for a brief second, you stop, pause and pray when the news comes on.
I would like to say that it is a relief when I find out it's not him. But that is simply not the case. Because the reality is that I realize that somewhere there is a person grieving for the lost of their friend and loved one. There is no solace in that.
It's easy to remove one's self from the war and argue the merits of our engagement in said war. But what should never be argued is that when a soldier dies, that loss for the friend, spouse, parent or child is our loss too.
If a country and the freedoms it posesses' are based on ideals, then someone must stand for and represent those ideals.
We take for granted that we will always be able to wake up at our leisure, go about our day, and come home. We take for granted that we can speak freely, express our opinions and desires; that there will be a venue to do so and listen to those opinions.
But for many citizens of the world, that's just not a reality. I can argue the merits of a conflict, and the excuses behind them. But what I can never argue is that the rights we are afforded should be an option for all the worlds people. It's not up to me to tell them to take that option, but the option they must have none the less.
And our military, for good are bad, are the ultimate symbol of those ideals. Soldiers represent our voices. They represent our dreams. They don't just protect our physical selves. They protect our spiritual and mental selves too. Our freedom is not perfect. We as a country will never agree. But the fact that we don't have to is a testament to the brave men and women of today and yesteryears who stepped up to the call to protect our ideals we so cherish.
It is instinctual to want to protect those you love and hold most dearest, like your friends and family. But how many of us will be willing to put our life on the line to make sure all Canadians will be able to do the same?
And I will leave you with my final thougths: Remember tomorrow what is sacrified today. Thank the soldier who goes about his way.
*Dani's note: This is the kick off to military week! I can't wait to hear your thoughts. *

11 September 2009

Punk & Me: Reality Train Wrecks.

My lovely and animated friend mocked me for not updating my blog. She is a total punk. And why not use my blog to call her a punk. Punkity punk punk.

To protect her privacy, i will call her punk.

Putting aside my juvinile behaviour for a second, I thought I would end the week with some random t.v. inspired drivel. Because if there is one thing punk and I share, it's our mutual love of t.v. stuff. I would like to say that we are highbrow, sophisticated friends when it comes to the television program we watch and talk about. Oh no sirree. The more low-brow, the better is our motto. Well not really, but we like train wrecks. Makes for an interesting life. Specifically, we like reality train wrecks.

Big Brother. Oh. Dear. Lord. Will this show ever stop? And will we ever truly stop watching this trainwreck. Here is our usual BB routine. First, we claim after the trainwreck of the last season that we will never watch it again. Then someone will casually mention when the new season starts and we will reiterate our claims of not following the show. Then the show will start and we will watch it just to remind ourselves how horrible it is. Then punk will say she refuses to watch it and will only follow the spoiler feeds, and then proceeds to secretly watch it. I will confess that I've watched every episode. Around week 2, we e-mail each other our top 4 picks. Then we will proceed to read the spoiler feeds between each show and e-mail each other our theories. About 3/4 of the way into the season, we will get annoyed because one of our faves will be evicted and we will claim that we are over with the show. But we then secretly follow the rest of the season and continue to chat about it. At the end of the season, we will lament how awful it is and make new claims about never watching the show again.

The Biggest Loser. I will confess that this is a show that I mostly watch. In fact, my blog is peppered with comments about this show. In theory, it is a train wreck. Fat people put through the paces and competing to be less fat. But I love it. LOVE LOVE LOVE it. And I know that punk watches it too. She may claim that she doesn't, but I know that she secretly does. We don't really talk about this show but then it will randomly pop up in our conversations and we will both immediately lament our own weight loss struggles and wish that we had a BL Canada. If they ever did and we would be able to compete as "couples", I think punk and I would go. And be very cutthroat about it too.

America's Next Top Model. We both fiercely love this show. Every year, we watch, discuss during commercial break, pick our favourites, and mock the stick creatures. So. Much. Fun.

A Shot At Love/ Rock of Love etc. I will confess. I don't really watch this show. But I have seen it. It's one of those if there is nothing else on, I will watch it. Punk on the other hand quite enjoys the show. So I will at the very least show an interest in her discussion about it. However, when she does discuss it, I often wonder why I don't watch it? It sounds like quality trash and I should ride that train.

The Bachelorette. On the other hand, if she has A Shot At Love, I have the Bachelorette. God, I hate this show. Why. Can't. I. Stop. Watching? Punk probably mocks me about this, but she always seems to know what's going on with the show...hmmm. Doth she protest too much?

So You Think You Can Dance/American Idol. We so love these shows. She follows AI a bit more than I do, but we both watch SYTYCD.

So I ask you..what trash shows do you and your friends share in that you are willing to confess? Does anyone else watch the above shows? Just so you know, there are way more trashy stuff we watch...this is but the tip of the iceberg.

19 August 2009

Hump-day Hunk: Alexander Skarsgaard.

New feature alert: Hump-day Hunk...where I get to post a pic of a guy I find hot to tide us over to the weekend.

It should come as no surprise that my first featured hunk is Alexander Skargaard, also known as the very d'lish Eric Northman on HBO's True Blood. Of course, I am only feeding into my obsession. But it's my blog and if I can't live out my slightly stalkerish fantasies here, where praytell can I have them?

Btw..the spelling of his name is all Swedish like with a fancy dot over the O. It's very sexy to read, but sadly, my computer is not set up to recognize the subtle nuances of the Sweedish language.

Here is a picture of him to kind of show just how tall he is at 6'4...and how nice his body is. Mmmm.


Ok..now I will direct your eyes to the vulnerable side of Alexander Skaarsgard.

Don't worry Eric/Alex...I will comfort you.

Finally, what is a hump-day worthy blog without a video? This video reminds me that he is saucy and his character is a blood-thirsty vampire. Now I don't want to get all fangirl on y'all. But the line for me is very blurred between my love of the actor and my love of the character. I seriously need an intervention after this clip.

So...do you all approve of my hump-day hunk, Alexander Skargaard? Will this satisfy you until the weekend? And I am also open to hump-day hunk suggestions for future drooling hump-day hunk posts, so leave your request in the comments section.

18 August 2009

I'm officially a Fang-Banger: Step One is admitting I have a problem.

I want to pretend that I'm just this normal, everyday, average girl who goes about life in a serious & responsible manner. (*I can hear my friends laughing at that statement already*).

I want to pretend that I don't get madly...deeply...obsessed by a T.V. show and turn into this 14 year old fangrrl with vivid fantasies. (*Again, I can hear my friends lying over this blatent lie*).

But I must confess. I am insanely obsessed with the brilliant HBO Series True Blood.

I suspected as much when I went to my aunts house and spent two solid days watching Season One on D.V.D. What makes this story even sadder is that I booked a hair appointment as an excuse to go to my aunt's place to watch it and TOOK THE DAY OFF WORK under the pretense of a hair cut. I did have the hair cut btw. But that was after we watched the series from 6:00 p.m. on Wednesday until 5:00 a.m. on Thursday watching the show.

So how do I know I am officially a Fang-Banger? Let us examine the symptoms.

  • Downloading the theme song "Bad Things" by Jace Everett after doing a CD store run to see if I could buy it.

  • Buying Book One and Two of the "Sookie Stackhouse Books" by Charlaine Harris but only with the HBO Covers.

  • Renting the rest of the books out from the library

  • Rewatching my favourite Eric/Bill/Sookie scenes on the weekend

  • Madly e-mailing everyone under the sun, or discussing it with everyone under the sun, about the show.

  • A newfound interest in Civil War History (which if you watch the show you will understand why).....and watching the Ken Burns Civil War Documenatary on PBS

  • Adding Sweden to your must travel list (after you visit Louisiana of course).

  • Reading every blog on-line and adding input to the "Twilight vs True Blood" debates (which there is no debate...it's True Blood all the way).

  • Leaving a Bridal Shower early so that you can go to your aunts to watch the latest episode of True Blood (and getting your aunt to drive into town to pick you up).

  • Alternating between sighing and crying over the latest episode of True Blood.

  • Spending your work days on You Tube watching episode clips and fan-tributes.

  • Wondering what synthetic true blood tastes like. Wondering if we can buy it...lol.

  • Rescheduling your time off so you can watch the next episode.

  • Look into adding HBO to your tv just for the one show.

  • Picking sides in the Eric vs Bill debates. (*Squeee...Eric).

I have it bad my friends. I have many other symptoms that I don't want to admit to. Let's just say that I will probably need an intervention after this season is over.

So I will leave you with this tribute video to watch. It's fantastic!!!... (and yes...before you ask...I did also request the Thriving Ivories from my library...sigh).

7 August 2009

Breaking News!!!!

So I suspected something was amiss when this week. I was either putting on a hoodie with my capris and I found myself deciding if I should wear jeans or capris.

Then I started noticing a subtle crispness to the morning air. There was a different scent.

Then as I was on my afternoon walk, I noticed a subtle change in the colour of the leaves in my back yard from a dark green to to a lighter green.

Then I saw it.

Then I knew my suspicions were confirmed.

I saw....

A LEAF ON THE GROUND!!!!!!! *insert ominous duh duh duh duuuuuh music*.

Autumn is officially here!

6 August 2009

Catholic Guilt and Dealing With A Dilemma

So every once in a while, I stumble upon a crossroads in my life in which I am faced with a great moral dilemma. Most of the time, I would carefully and painfully consider other people's thoughts & needs above my own while meagerly attempting to put my needs at the front. And more often than not I would buckle & cave in to the needs of others. As the picture above states..."I have compromised almost every major decision in my life because of other people". I can promise you that I strive for the "this one's for ME" part. I truly do. But it's never that easy. I don't want to be "that person" who does "that thing". And the few times I truly did put myself first in the most selfish way possible, It was way more trouble then it was worth.

Then I got baptised into the Catholic Faith. And I thought I was plagued with guilt before?!?

There is nothing and I repeat NOTHING that can get my panties in a bunch more than Catholic Guilt. Catholic Guilt is something entirely different then regular old guilt, or even other religious guilt. This guilt slices at the raw nerve. And I don't know if I should use the word guilt so much as I should use the words "sin association disorder".

I have a serious case of SAD going on because of a particular issue where I have to weigh out the unreasonable wants of others with my own needs but I am in a precarious situation where my options are few and my stress is high.

Just to be clear, there is nothing in our faith that says that I have to feel guilty. However, it's a natural byproduct I suppose of trying to live a God centered life. Not a "beat your head down with religious" life. But just a simple "obey the commandments and treat others well" life. The need to be closer to God and to live a better life will often put me at odds with the desire to have " this one is for me" moments.

On the other hand, how can I truly be a better person if I am always putting myself last? The strive for balance between the wants of others and the needs of myself shouldn't mean that I always put others wants before my own needs. I'm sure that God doesn't truly want me to be digging from the trenches, fostering deep resentment of others because I "love they neighbour". I don't recall reading "love thy neighbour at the expense of yourself" written anywhere in the BIble.

Oh oh. I just had an epiphany moment while I was typing. I just realized something.....If I live a life where I either put my life first or the lives of others first, where and when and how does God fit in? I just realized that living my life at either extreme means that I'm not living the best life I can, and if I don't do that, then I'll never have "this one's for me" moments.

It's like trying to stuff a VW Beetle with people. Stuff too many and you don't have room for one more. Close the door and lock the windows, and no one can get in and you sit there all alone.

So. Am I any closer to solving my dilemma and finding a state of equilibrium? Nope.


29 July 2009

DILF: Denis Leary - Rescue Me Edition.

It's been a while since I put up a DILF pic (Daddy I'd like to F**K) but to kick off my Rescue Me Blog Series, I thought I would start off with a pic biggest crush ever....Denis Leary. You have absolutely NO IDEA the things that I want to do if I ever got a chance to be in a dark room with Denis Leary. *Just thinking about even being in the same planet with this guy...breathing the same air... is making me hypervenilate*

Yes, he's not convential sexy. He's rude sometimes. He's brash. He tells it like he sees it, regardless of what anyone else thinks. He stands by his convictions.

But damnit, I don't know if it's his Irish looks, or his sarcastic voice, or his strung out look that makes me want to do WICKED things to him.

Plus he is in my most favourite show ever ...Rescue Me (on FX in the States and Showcase in Canada).

My God, just staring at him makes me dizzy with anticipation. Squeeeeeeeee!

28 July 2009

Oooh my aching back.

This weekend I ignored the pain signals my body was giving me. I ignored the pain in my body when I was wearing heels for 6 hours at church. I ignored the pain in my body when I swam 30 laps at the pool. I ignored the pain in my body that came when I was standing in swealtering heat wearing black work clothes. I ignored the pain in my body when I was trying on clothes and my hips were crying.

So finally, my body fought back. It said enough was enough. And as a result, I have a lower back muscle strain.

I first knew something was wrong when I woke up on Monday and could barely get up. I couldn't walk more than baby step paced to the bathroom. The stairs almost made me cry. I couldn't put on my pants without doing some sort of dirty dancing inspired shuffle.

Now on any given pain day, I would have stayed home. But with me the only one here, that's not an option unless I'm physically in the ER. So I shuffled slowly to work in tears. Sat painfully at my desk for hours. Couldn't move. Couldn't think. Couldn't function. All I knew was pain.

My boss was sympathetic. He got the mail. He got my lunch. He got me a coffee. That might be the only sympathy I get all year, but I digress...

Oh..and did I mention I was high on 1600 mg of pain pills?!!!!!

So I finally got to see the goddess that is Sian Williams, my chiro. She fixed me up fairly ok. And by fairly ok, I mean that I could take toddler steps. But I felt better. Today I'm sore again.

Sadly, my prescription is to walk (schwaaa?), drink water (ewwww) and put ice packs on my back (which later becomes dinner).

I yearn for the days when noone knew what to do so the diagnosis was bed rest and bon-bons. I could be watching Y&R as we speak.

On the plus side, I did get a kick-ass water pillow, which is my new lover. Best night of sleep I've had all year (well minus the back pain).

So there's no point to my blog. I think I might shuffle over and buy Season 2 of Rescue Me (which i promise to blog about the show soon)....or maybe a book. But I just wanted to share my pain with the hopes of getting much sympathy and love. :)

Kick Ass Quote of the Day!

There comes a point in your life when you realize:
Who matters
Who never did
Who won't anymore
And who always will
So, don't worry about people from your past,there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

21 July 2009

Bridesmaid confessional.

*DISCLAIMER: I love my friends. I will do anything for my friends. If someone does my friends wrong, I will show that rat bastard the *fists of fury*. I'm the ultimate keemosabee.

K...so now that the disclaimer is out of the way I can proceed with my confessional.

I will just say this and be done with it: I hate being a bridesmaid.

I love weddings. I love seeing friends who love each other be bound in neck chokening bonds of matrimony. I love the pretty decorations & the awesome food. But I can't stand being an actual part of the wedding. I hate being a bridesmaid.

I suppose one would say "Dani, you are just being jelous you single old cow. Suck it up and stop being selfish".

Or you could say "Dani, you sucky old cow, stop bitching about how fat you look in the dress and be a better friend..you should have though about your weight a year ago".

Equally as enticing, you could say "Dani, you are such a cow. You knew what the cost would be going in so why are you bitching about it now?".

And you would probably be right on all accords. When weddings occur and I am a part of it, I am reminded instantly that I am fat, poor and single in one fell swoop.

It's different when you are just a guest, because at least being poor and being fat isn't the be all end all because all you have to do is show up wearing a dress that hides the fat and eat the food for free with a token re-gift.

But when you are stuffed into a dress that only suits skinny people, that costs an arm and a leg, and you are single with no chance of scoring with the bestman in the janitor hall, then what's the point of reinforcing your misery?

And the funny thing is...I keep agreeing. Because I love my friends. And I guess in the end, that is all that matters.

17 July 2009

Happy Five Friday.

Lately, I have been little miss doom & gloom. Bitching about pretty much everything, everyone & life in general.

Today, I am going to post about things that made me happy this week. Because it's Friday and
I'm allowed to be happy on Fridays. So in random order, here are some things that made me happy this week.

#1) So You Think You Can Dance- Jason and Jeaninie doing Travis's first choreographed routine. Both Jason and Jeanine had dead weight partners up until this week so neither really shined. Then they got to performance this and I almost fell out of my chair it was so good. I would say it is on par with Kourtini's and Mark's routine called "The Garden" from last year.

Jason & Jeaninie

Kourtni & Mark Just to refresh your memory!

#2- Theresa's & Dan's Wedding Rehersal - I am doing the readings, but I am so happy for both of them. They are one of the genuninely nicest couples I know.

#3- The return of Big Brother on CBS.-> Squeeeeeee! My shameless summer past time. This year is delightful in that it's broken into high school cliques. A bit too much drama right from the get go..but that will settle down as the season goes on.

#4-I sorted out my closet finally into like items, even going as far as colour co-ordianate my hangers. It's delightful.

#5- Rescue Me. Oh fricken squeeeee and a half squeee! I love this show and although it wasn't nominated for an Emmy because the Academy sucks monkeys, it is still the best show on television. I mad love Dennis Leary Keep and eye on my blog as I plan on doing a Rescue Me post coming up.

*mmm...Denis Leary all burnt up...dribble drool.

OK mes amies...what are your Happy Five Friday reflections on the week that was.

15 July 2009

Can we "Clap People Out"

There is a baseball reference that I heard for the first time at the Edmonton Capitals Baseball game. The term "clap them out". What it basically means in the context of a baseball game is that the when someone from the opposing team is at bat, you give that slow exaggerated clap to distract them from the task and hopefully they will strike out and victory will be ours. It can also be used in other contexts which net the same result (the removal of a player from the field).

Today at work, we have the annual company golf tournament (*barf*). So the obnoxious level at work at in full force today. Everyone is wearing their God-awful golf shirts in a variety of rainbow colours...and no, this isn't a pride parade folks. It's a bunch of stuffy conservatives in khaki's and cleats walking the halls like Tiger Woods incarnates.


And when they are not talking about golf, they are pestering me with questions as to why I am not attending the all empowering golf tourney.

Obnoxious Co-Worker (who never talks to me any other time of the year unless forced): "Dani, why aren't you going to the golf tournament?"

Me: "Because I hate golf"

OCW: "But it will be fun".

Me: "I don't care"

OCW: "But you don't have to know how to play, it's Texas Scramble".

Me: "Unless that's an omlette of some sort, I don't care".

OCW: "Well why don't you come for the dinner after".

Me: "When is that?"

OCW: "It's around 5 p.m. onwards".

Me: " I don't go to company functions on my private time. I spend enough time here".

OCW: " Well we'll have fun..you should come".

Me: "I hate work. I hate golf. I hate people. So ..umm..yah...NO".

So here I am, at my desk, watching the rainbow connection pass by me talking all things golf.

And all I can think of is...


Wouldn't that be an awesome societal attribute? You just stand up and start the slow paced clap, and a few others join in, then the jackasses can leave?

13 July 2009

Wild Species Survival Guide: The Obnoxious Baseball Fan.

Latin Name: homosapien obnoxious

English Name: Obnoxious Baseball Fan. (aka: OBF)

Origin: Although thought to be descendents of wild apes, scientists have recently discovered DNA links that indicate that they are in fact an ape.

Lifespan: They last about 3-5 hours but can rebirth daily during the spring to fall season.

Staples: OBF prefer foods of high fat content to keep their belly's firm enough to be used as a table to record baseball statistics. Particularly fond of hotdogs, nacho's, pizza and peanuts. They consume large amounts of waterous beverages derived from a combination of hops and barley.

Population: Although once small in number, their population has been increasing. They can be found directly behind me in almost every venue. There are larger populations in warmer climates.

Range: They can be found all over the world, but are particularly indigenous to North America. They tend to migrate to my section no matter what venue I happen to be located.

Behaviour: OBF's tend to travel in packs and are easily encouraged by the cheering or acknowledgement of others. They are often loud and speak with a firm judgement. Deep inadequacy of their own experiences makes them deeply judgemental of those who excel. They tend to think they know how to play the game better. They can be particularly irate towards umpires and are easily angered by managers. The fail to notice annoyed glances or awkward silences around them.

Mating season: Sadly, OBF's do mate. They tend to attract similar alpha-females. However, it has been observed that they prey on innocent nearby females who embarass easily, with the hope that this time honoured mating dance may increase their chances of reproduction.

Threats: Their biggest enemy is the park security attendent or police officer. Can be prone to irate gestures, physical violence and loud yelling when confronted.

Gifts: Although they think their gifts are their opinions and their lame attempts at humour, their actual gift is their insane ability to win 50/50's and catch t-shirts despite not be worthy of the prize.

What to do if confronted by an OBF: If avoiding eye contact does not work, pointed staring can work in some cases. If situation does not resolve, a general comment in any direction might work, although it is advised to avoid direct conversation at all costs. Their threats tend to be able to weed them out. The best thing to do for maximum results is for large groups to not respond or react, thereby weakening their powers. At last resort, kick them in the balls or tell the female alpha-wolf that there is a richer OBF in another section.
I hope my handy guide will help when faced with an Obnoxious Fan Syndrome.


It is strange to know that you can leave your daily routine at any time you wish, and the only thing keeping you there is money or fear or comfort in the known. ~ PastaQueen.com

So clearly last night I was having a pity party about myself. I am probably not as bad as I think that I am (body image issues and all that jazz). But the reality of the below post is that it reflects my state of mind.

I am in a state of confusion about my life. It is said that life is the journey between where you were and where you were meant to be. But that offers me no solace at all when I think of my life well wasted and my future uncertain. It doesn't solve my anxieties that I have right now at this crossroads in my career/life.

I was following up on my newfound Edmonton Captials obsession appreciation and came across a blog by one of the players, Chan Ehrnsberger. If you click on the link, it will take you to this one post he did that caught my eye and completely fascinated me. I felt in some weird way like I found a person who is on a parrallel path with me.

Here is a professional baseball player who is at that same point in life. 31 years old, unattached, struggling with doing something he completely loves. But the love comes with the sacrifice of pay, uncertainty and the sacrifice of spending no time with his friends and family. But baseball is his passion.

Then there is me. 31 years, unattached, struggling with doing something I completely despise. But I get guaranteed pay, a fluctuating certainty, and very little personal sacrifice (unless you count my soul, but that's another story). And I would love to pursue my passion, but fear roots me to the reailty.

Two completely different strangers, yet one common crossroad. As was illustrated in the two examples, there are pros and there are cons to living a passionate life vs of average. I wish there was an easy answer. Do you pursue your passion at the cost of the known or do you stay in the known at the cost of your passion? Which has a greater reward?

12 July 2009

Skinny memories...shaky at best.

While sitting here looking at diet blogs today, I realized something.

I don't remember what it is like to be skinny.

I know that I was skinny. I remember buying and wearing clothes not as big as a tent. But I don't actually remember the physical act of being skinny. The feel of being skinny.

Like I don't remember what my sholder bones felt like, or having skinny arms that didn't jiggle. I don't remember what it felt like to not have my thighs touch. I don't remember what it feels like to have skinny ankles and defined calves, and bums that curve under...not just meshing with your thighs. I don't remember what if feels like to have defined abs and not just a paunch that spills over your pelvic area. I don't remember what it felt like to sit in a booth without breathing in, or being able to fall into a seat and have room to put a jacket between your thighs and the arm rests. I don't remember what it feels like to sit cross legged. I don't remember what it feels like to be able to curl up and put your feet on something close by.

Was I ever skinny or was that time in my life a mirage? And more importantly, will I ever get to that point again?


My field of dreams and the discovery of my love for baseball.

Last night Steve, Joanne & I went to the Edmonton Capitals Baseball game. For $16.00, we got a ticket, parking, a hot dog, a BOTTLED Pepsi (not fountain), three 50/50 tickets & free popcorn while we watched The Sandlot right on the field. I don't care who you are, that them there is cheap entertainment for a Saturday night.

Now up until last night, Steve has been slowly indoctrinating me into baseball. It started off with casual mentions. Then it moved onto full out discussions. Then he ever so subtly leant me Baseball for Dani Dummies.

And I knew he rolled his eyes everytime the word "that baseball player is hot" was muttered.

Prior to last night, baseball was one of those games we went to, usually with the winning of free tickets and nothing better to do. And I would go, and watch only knowing what a strike, ball and home run were. And I would focus most of my energies on hot baseball players and their asses.

And while I still enjoy the 'rear view' as it were, I have a new found love for the game. How so do you ask? What is the secret to getting into baseball?

I have two words for you: Stat Recording.

It literally changed my life. After the initial consulation ("Count with me ...1..2..3..4...5...6...7...8..9. No, the left fielder is 7, not 8...the other 7..... that's a 6-4-3....no, having a nice ass does not mean he's a good hitter....that's a fly ball...because it flys in the air is why it's called a fly ball...fill your diamond out properly....because his last name is Flowers so he will be mocked..") , I got right into the game.

When forced to pay attention, you really start to appreciate the nuance and stragegy of the game.

So with my Edmonton Capitals hoodie propped as a table, my hat on my head to protect me from the glare of the sun, my pen poised and ready to record...I became an avid fan of baseball. To cap off the perfect night, we got to stroll on the soft grasses of John Ducey Park & watch a movie.

So I challenge all my readers (ok...well my 3 regular readers and the odd straggler that accidently clicks on this blog), go embrace America's Favorite Past Time. Go to your local league, nosh on a hot dog, and cheer on your local team.

17 June 2009

This Used to Be My Playground.

As we embark upon another impossibly heat sweltering but short summer, I have become nostalgic towards summers past. I can reckon back to a time when my only concern was how many times mom was going to yell at me to come in for dinner before she got really mad.

As time goes by and responsibilities grow forth, summer play time becomes replaced with endless work hours. If you are lucky, you might be able to take one week of paid holidays off, in which you proceed to waste away catching up on the errands you don’t have time for during the other 52 weeks of the year.

The other day, Joanne and Steve, were going to the field down the street to play baseball and I ended up joining them (along with mom’s boyfriend Gary and my sister Jennifer). We ended up having one of the most enjoyable evenings I have had in along time. It didn’t cost anything or require any long commutes or planning. It was just a spontaneous game that we truly enjoyed. Memories were made that evening (“I’m throwing with my tetnus arm” and “thank-you Bob Uecker”).

At the end of all this, I started yearning for uncomplicated play time like we did when we were kids. When we were kids, we didn’t think about how stressful our school day was or how busy our day was going to be tomorrow. We certainly didn’t use either as an excuse to not do anything but stay home and zone out to mindless t.v. for hours on end.

Nope. We put school behind us as soon as it was over and rushed home to play outside for hours on end, not thinking of what school was going to be like tomorrow. Yet somehow, as adults, all we do now is reflect on work and prepare for work. We have lost the ability to just play without a worry in the world. We have so few parks anymore that haven’t been ripped up and turned into a condo unit, that the few places we do, they sit their idle except for the few kids who aren’t playing video games.

Well I say no more. I’m done with living my life without play time. I’m taking back my childhood spirit. Bring on the baseball games! Bring on the cheap family events! Bring on the bocce ball, and the outdoor skating, and the swimming centers!

Because if there is one thing I know, I was a hell of a lot happier as a kid then I am now, so clearly the way I am living my life now just isn’t working! I’m taking back play time!

20 May 2009

Dani's Top 6 Favourite Prime Time (non-soap) T.V. Theme Songs: 80's Edition

I feel a special affection towards my auntie television. It babysat me when I was a kid. No matter what mood I am it, it has a story for me. It was an avenue in which I could explore my hobbies. It opens a world that I can dream of (thank-you travel channel).

So it comes as no surprise that I love t.v. theme songs. Like pavlov's dog, all I need to hear are the first few notes of some programs and I come running.

However, there are some that stand out more than others. I have no criteria other than happy memory to guide my choices. So sit back, relax, dream of days of synthesised music...and enjoy.

#5- Taxi Theme Song.
I loved this show as a kid. I only had about 4 channels so this was an afternoon institution. It's dorky in the retarded younger brother kind of way.

#4- Hill Street Blues
I didn't necessarily appreciate the show when I was a kid as much as I do now, but my parents (my stepdad) used to watch this show every week. It's kind of sad...but it's also equally sad that I don't have a cop to hump on weekly basis, so meh.

This was the coolest show ever and had a kick ass theme song to boot. Plus he was hot.

#2 Degrassi Junior High

This was a bonafied Canadian Institution. I do not know one person who could not recite the lyrics....very angsty.

Tied for first- Dukes of Hazzard
I sooooo wanted to be Daisy Duke. This appeals to my inner white trash.

#1 - MacGyver.
All good things can be solved by McGyver. Thus, this song is cool.

While I realize that there are far better shows and far better theme songs...tough titty. This is my blog. Plus, I have the top 80's soap songs pending...haha.

11 May 2009

Creative dry spells and random ramblings.

Have you ever just sat there and could not think of anything to write about, despite having a list of awesome ideas in the back of your head? Or you have this awesome idea, but cannot articulate yourself for the life of you?

That is me right now. If you only knew all of the awesome things floating in ye olde noggin right now...but I just don't have the energy/stamina/thought process to take the idea and expand it beyond a few sentences.

I could write about my idea half-assed. Or I could just save them until later. Which I will do because nothing is worse than a great idea posted blandly. But here are some random stuff anyways just to tantilize my fellow 4 readers with the possibility of something exciting down the pipe.

1) *inside joke moment that only two other's will get* : I think that Pantless Jones and Shirtless Jones needs to have a long lost African-American cousin/brother(played by that hot guy that is dating the chick from The View). He can be "Wet T-Shirt Jones". Junior...this is a huge plot twist idea that you could totally work into the story. Maybe he is the "mysterious man"....

2) The Biggest Loser is having their finale this week. I will blog more about this later (as I have so many things to say since my last post, and I am already sad about the idea of a few months without Bob Harper)....but needless to say, I am stoked. I so want either Tara or Mike to win. It is on Tuesday and I can't wait to see all the transformations.

3) Speaking of weightloss, I have a bet with my friend on who can loose the most weight in a 10 week period. Since there is cash on the line, I have to get my ass in gear and get serious now!!!

4) I'm becoming a Lector at my church. I am very excited as they are coming out with the new readings at the end of Pentecost. I hope I sound as good as I think I do. LOL.

5) Speakin of church....ashamed to admit this...but a certain Deacon's son is very hot. Like smoking hot. I'm going to hell for impure thoughts about the Deacon's son. LOLZ.

6) I need a new bra. But why do bra's for big chested woman come in the form of a military issued underwire? They can poke eyes out!\

7) So far, my book tally is nilch. But I still love being Canadian and I want to post more about this soon!

Cheers all!

27 April 2009

Literary Masterpieces in Canada...aka...why I feel like the village idiot.

Selecting a book to read in Canada is like shopping for cream at the grocery store. You could go buy the mediocre american made cream. Or you can spend a fortune for the fresh cream milked straight from the cows teet, the cow having rested in a bed of clouds and fed only the finest grain of the land.

That's kind of like books. You could buy the mediocre American books full of frivolty and chick lit. Or you can truly aspire to read books of the sophisticae elite and read Canadian Literature.

Our authors win stuff. Lots of stuff. If there is a literary book prize, our authors are usually on the short list with a high chance of winning.

Canada is blessed with the likes of Mordechai Richler, Margaret Atwood, Rohinton Minstry, Micheal Ondaatje and company.

I read Chatelaine's annual summer book list "must -reads" and there are always a handful of Canadian books listed. There is the CBC's website which lists all these great books. And when viewers can comment, they always list books by Canadian authors with the smug knowledge that not only have they read them, but that all the other readers who comment on that book on are "in the know".

Then there is me. I can't pretend anymore. I have not read many Canadian books. I feel ashamed to admit this, but I shop for generic cream. I have these great intentions of reading these literary masterpieces, but 9 times out of 10, I reach for a romance or something equally low brow.

Here we are, in the land of talent. And while I can identify who is a Canadain author, I cannot admit ot having read many Canadian books. I yearn for the expensive cream so that I can be 'in the know', but I opt for the cheap stuff each time.

This summer, it will be different.....I am going to read ever "must -read" can-lit book so that I can join the ranks of smug book snobs. I am up for the challenge.
This year, excluding whatever books are in my book club, I am going to ready 50 Canadian Books. Operation Dani wants to be a Can-Lit Book Snob commences!

24 April 2009

Stomping Tom Connors, where have you been all my Life? *Canada Week Post*

In honour of my Canadian ways, I am dedicating the next week or so of posts to all things Canadian! Yes mon amies. I will post all things about what it is to be Canadian and the joys (and sometimes pitfalls) that comes with being a hoser.

I was inspired the other day when I was sitting with mom and there was a Stomping Tom Connors show on (filmed in '73...when it was cool to be Canadian). The above link is the actual movie we watched. Of course, I promptly (and politely) went to the Wee Book Inn to barter for some CD's of Stomping Tom. I am not ashamed of my blatent geekiness. In fact, this might be the first time that the sales guy actually looked to me with that "you are so cool" instead of the usual scorn I get when I buy CD's from hippies. But I digress.

For those who don't know, Stomping Tom Connors is an institution. He is one of those iconic symbols. He is as proud a Canadian. In fact, did you know that he returned all of his Juno (a Canadian equiv. of the AMA award) in protest because he felt the Juno's were honouring to many forign acts. He also is going to be featured on an upcoming stamp. His life story is beyond cool. See this link -> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stompin'_Tom_Connors

His songs are totally funny hokey. He was a comedian singer long before the likes of Dennis Leary and Adam Sandler. In fact, I would say it was because of him that the genre became popular at all. Plus, you have to love the guy that gave us the hockey song, our unofficial third anthem.

He's the kind of guys that just takes random thoughts in his head and turns it into a folk song. Does't matter what the topic (potatos, ketchup, hocky, drunk whores), if it's good enough to ponder, it's good enough to sing.

If fact, check out but some of his songs on You Tube (search Stomping Tom Connors).

So to Stomping Tom Connors, I salute you!

1 April 2009

Best picture ever!

I stole borrowed this picture from Junior. It totally rocks and pretty much describes me on a daily basis. At work, at home...it's all the same. But no one wants to make me feel better anymore. Nobody kisses my boo boo's. *sniff*.

Weight Loss Wednesday's: Letting yourself loose

Last night was very exciting because my favourite contestant, the one that inspires me, was a guest host last night...and she continues to look awesome!

But one thing bothered me about last night's episode.

Tara, one of the contestants that I can most relate to, let herself loose a competition. She has lost over 105 pounds and has also lost the greatest percentage of weight. She has won so many competitions, even with more obstacles (such as pulling a car with extra weight that the other competitors gave her).

So last night, she decided she was going to give up a 1 pound advantage at the weigh in because she didn't want everyone to target her....she wanted to show that she doesn't win all the competitions and that there are other competitors just as strategic flying under the radar.

I get her point. But I felt that with all her success, she sold herself short by allowing herself to loose.

There is this Kenny Rogers song that goes "you've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em" referring to cards.

But here's the thing. Yes, you have to know when to fold 'em...but if you have a winning hand, why do you have to not play them just to make the other people feel better?

I think I feel upset because I realize that I do that all the time. I give in so that others feel better. At work, with my friends, my family...I don't know when to keep on holding them. I fold all the time...conciously or unconciously.

So if you think about it...why when it comes to weight loss do we let ourselves fail? Why not just try winning even if it pisses others off.

Just a thought...

30 March 2009

Final post...my day so far.

Thank-you work for sucking my soul out of me today. My holidays are but 3 days away and I will make sure to leave so much work behind. No staying late to make it easier. Nope. I want you to suffer.


Catch Up Post #3- DILF

Thanks to Joanne's husband Steve, I now have a new lexicon to add to my vocabulary. DILF.

Similar to the MILF, it's when you lust after men old enough to be your father.

So my first official DILF for consideration is ROBERT PATRICK.

Star of The Unit, The X-Files, The Terminator.

He is one hot daddy. Hot. Hot.
Please draw your attention to the strategically placed bulge. Camo can't hide that.

Catch Up Post #2- Catholic Sunday: Tears.

As a general rule, I tend to keep my emotions in check. So when the tears do flow, it's always at the most unexpected moments that catch me completely off guard. I mean, I didn't cry at my grandpa's funeral, but I sobbed uncontrollably when Megan died on One Life to Live (a soap opera). I broke my leg and no tears, but I cried hysterically at the Luxor in Las Vegas when I found out that my cat died at home.

So imagine my surprise when I almost burst into tears not once, not twice, not three times....but FOUR times at church yesterday. Having to deal with the topic of forgiveness was harder then I expected. But the realization was that by not forgiving the two men in my life who could have destroyed me, I was continuing letting them destroy me.

Now here it is on Monday...and I still want to cry (beause work sucks, but that's a whole different post). It's like a resevoir has been unleashed inside of me.

I have nothing profound to say...just saying that I'm a bit tearful lately. So if I randomly burst into tears at awkward moments, then you all know why. It's those damn ducks I tell ya...you never have them around when you need them the most.

Catch-up Post #1: Weight Loss Wednesday- Ducks and more ducks.

I know I could wait until this Wednesday to post this, but it bears being said right now.

On Tuesday's episode of The Biggest Loser, Kristen, who started at over 350 pounds, became the first girl to loose over 10O pounds! Amazing. For those people (like me sometimes) who thinks it is hopeless and feel helpless, watch this girl on this show. How can one not be inspired by that?


I was talking to my co-worker today. She is basically doing the position I started here with. And as the time progresses, she is turning into...well ...me. You know, you start off all happy go lucky. Then the company starts sucking the life out of you. The next thing you know, you are bitter, angry, resentful and in general misery.

But my background story is that when I was on the desk, I had this rubber duck with horns on it (and camo gear because that's how I roll). Anyways, when I was pissed off (which was almost every hour of the day), I would put this duck on my computer. And soon, people got to know that if the duck was up, then to tread carefully.

Soon, I grew confident (or careless?) enought to express how I was feeling, and the duck went into a drawer, only to be pulled out when it is time to better not say anything at all.

So anyways, said co-worker is walking down the path that I took and she goes, in an act of resigned desperation, "at least I don't have a duck". And I reply "we all have our ducks, even if you can't see them".

So what's the point to my story? Is that we all have our ducks. We all have that one thing that expresses how we feel that we associate with to describe our emotion. And it is easier to showcase the duck than to just come out and say what bothers you. It's easier for someone to come by my desk and see the duck, then to come out and ask me how I feel. And it's easier for me to have the duck express how I feel but am weighed down by misery to say.

Weight loss is as much the emotional journey. And the journey starts with some small step. So pull out your duck. Whatever it may be. Let people know. Because only when you acknowledge that you have a duck will you be able to work on expressing what the duck stands for.

U-Choose Friday- Tales of a Pigsty.

As we have already established, I am a procrastinator. I will work under duress and am the queen of the last-minute-all-nighter deadline. I can honestly say that some of my best work is under the gun.

But the downside to procrastation is that it painfully outlines my inherent laziness. And there is no more evidence of this laziness then in my house.

I don't want to say such menacing words such as "war-zone" or "disaster area" but well....let's just say that my house has currently been declared "Operation Free the Beaver".

*Warning: Mini-Confessional Time*
I have too much clothes.

There, I said it. The fat girl in me wants to keep the skinny clothes. The skinny girl is fearful of having a roasted marshmallow icecream breakdown, so wants to keep the fat clothes. The in-between girl wants to buy more clothes to compensate for some crazy childhood issue. The hoarder wants to keep the clothes "just in case". The purger wants to purge the stuff that doesn't belong to her.

So thus, everything piles up. And it becomes overwhelming. I am trying to do the small things everyday hoping it adds up. Like this week I took down my mammoth of a desk. It had more screws than my entire sexual life. But I didn't immediately buy a new desk, so now I have computer bits scattered all over.

Two steps forward...one back.

And the funny thing is that every once in a while I get all inspired, and I purge like a banshee with no regret. But then my follow throw action? Replace crap with more crap.

House cleaning for me is a bit like weightloss. Good intentions interupted by fear of success and then ultimate failure.

Any pointers from the clean at heart?

I put the "pro" in procrastinate.

I had all these wonderful blogs in my head last week. It was going to be a delicious week of divulgence. (Doesn't that sound saucy? Divulgence. Sounds a bit like indulgence).

But alas, procrastination is my nemisis. Procrastination is my achilles heel (which by the way is actually hurting...how ironic...perhaps a sign of my wicked wasteful ways catching up to me? I put off things and my ankle hurts. Hmmmm).

So anyhoo, I have some power posting to catch up on. But first, let me say this.
Gah. GAH. I hate work. GAH.

I feel better now. T-3 until holidays!