Main Entry: di·vulge
Pronunciation: \də-ˈvəlj, dī-\
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): di·vulged; di·vulg·ing
Etymology: Middle English, from Latin divulgare, from dis- + vulgare to make known, from vulgus mob
Date: 15th century
1: to make public : proclaim
2: to make known (as a confidence or secret)
I woke up in a generally good mood. I had a productive work day and finished my tasks. I went to my new weekly fitness class and left a little bit stronger (even if the legs had the shakes). My husband & I had an enjoyable dinner with great conversation.
By all accounts, my day was actually pretty good.
And then I uttered something to my husband at the worst possible time. I created hurt. It came from a place of hurt. I uttered it from a feeling of frustration. It was motivated by wanting to shift the burden & guilt to someone who was already carrying his share.
I could have very easily chosen not to be mean. I could have very easily chose to be understanding.
I could have left things unsaid.
But the infertility struggle comes with many emotions. Sometimes the emotions are ugly and can't be hidden.
I made a promise that I wouldn't go "crazy" on this infertility journey. That whatever shall be shall be. Most importantly, I promised it wouldn't interfere with the loving relationship I have with my amazing husband.
Yesterday, it interfered. Yesterday, all the isolation and guilt and anger and frustration and sadness came out in a few sentences. The wound was swift. The wound was deep.
It was unfair of me. It was mean. It was cruel. And now I must repair the damage I caused.
I can blame the drugs I am on, certainly. I can blame my inability to just confront people with my concerns. I am not a people pleaser, but I am also not a feather ruffler. In the past, when I have said something (usually coming from the same place as this time), it's created hurt and misunderstanding.
My choices always seem to come down to either remain silent, or say something & risk misunderstanding, anger, & hurt. I haven't figured out yet how not to do that.
Lesson is that sometimes, things are simply better left unsaid.
*Update: Love means saying you are sorry. And I did. Love means forgiveness. And he did. xo*
I know. I haven't written anything here for a while. I've had a thousand great thoughts in my head, but no will to actually articulate anything. I'll do better.
The last few months have been particularly difficult - more so for the people around me than myself particularly. But it has been draining, this thing called worry. It has been challenging, this thing called stress. It has been a test in fortitude, this thing called emotions. It has been an experience, this thing called helplessness.
To recap:
On December 12th, my best friend's mom died. A woman I have known and loved for over half my life is gone. My sadness pales in comparison to Jo's, but it's still a devastating loss. Not only is a loss in the sense that your friend's parents are yours too, but it's a reminder of the fragility of your own parents.
Speaking of Jo, her son (and my godson) was admitted to the Stollery Children's hospital twice. He's slowly getting better. But it's scary because they are so vulnerable. Oh, and Joanne was sick with bronchitis. I feel helpless in that I want to be there for her, but there is so little I can do.
Closer to home, my husband was sicker than a dog with some sort of viral infection. This after I came off my own bout of the flu.
My own health issues. I swear, I turned 35 a few years back and it's been downhill health wise since. A reminder that I need to nurture my body. Because the way you treat your body will catch up to you.
In my immediate family, someone is facing a mental health battle with depression and suicidal thoughts/attempts. He was hospitalized in the mental health and we thought he was getting better. He seemed fine. Now he's back there.
An online acquaintance lost her son to suicide.
Not being anymore closer to having a baby than I was that year. The fertility care system in Alberta is less than adequate. (Although there is a ray of hope coming up. Maybe).
Dealing with a spiritual/faith drought. It happens to me more frequently than I care to admit.
The general flipping world right now.
All while dealing with the general stresses of every day life.
So much worry, stress, emotion and helplessness in a short period of time. Sigh.
The quest for 2015 will be trying to find a way to find strength in the things that bring me down. How to rise above and be the person needed for those who suffer. How to deal with my own fragility. How to keep optimistic when it seems like there is not much to be optimistic about.
I will return to one goal though: blog more. Having an outlet is a good thing. Maybe. LOL.
There is a lyric in Janet Jackson's song, What Have You Done For Me Lately, that I think sums up my current thinking on Alberta politics:
Used to be a time you would pamper me
Used to brag about it all the time
Your friends seem to think that you're so peachy keen
But my friends say neglect is on your mind...
Whose right?
What have you done for me lately?
Ooh ooh ooh yah!
What have you done for me lately?
Ooh ooh ooh yah!
Today, after originally reported by local blogger Kikkiplanet (a.k.a. Kathleen Smith) TWO WEEKS AGO, news of plans (although not confirmed to be implemented or finalised) to add a personal suite by & for Alison Redford (a.k.a. Alberta's former Premier) was released by Charles Rusnell of the CBC.
I GET IT.....WE ALL GET IT. Another scandal about Premier Redford treated Alberta's wallet like her own...blah blah blah. I got it the first 75 news reports released over the last two weeks years, ad nausea. The fact that old news is being reported by lazy reporters who don't seem to do their job unless Kathleen stokes a fire up their ass is both amusing, and a sad commentary on journalism in this province. But that is neither here nor there.
Each political party in many ways resembles the first part of the lyric above. As a voter, I've been enticed by many parties with their sexy promises, polished looks, and careless whispers of sweet policy caressing my ears. Each party has a loyal group of partisan friends, saying how the other parties are up to no good and their party is peachy keen.
But what I want to know from all political parties is what have you done for me lately? It's not enough for me to simply say "elect us because the 'other' is <insert disparaging comment here>." I want to know what you are going to do. I want to know what your plans are for the future.
I am not really interested in looking to the past. As someone with a history degree, I am always cautious to judge the events of the past, without looking at the context of when a decision was made. I also realize that sometimes it takes years to see the full realization of decision or action take, even the controversial ones.
These are the things I want to hear from political parties in Alberta (that I am not hearing now):
"Who cares what the other parties are doing? Here is what we are doing."
"Here is our plan for what we think would would work."
"Here are our expense reports, so you can judge for yourself prior to the election if we are trustworthy."
"Here is how we would do this specific situation differently."
"We can't promise that our promises can be implemented, but we will try."
"We trust you, the voter, to make an informed choice."
Do not assume that a scandal is all it will take for me to vote for the "other." With so many voices whispering in my ear, telling me who is right and who is wrong, my vote will be made in the silence of my own thoughts and observations, based on sound policy and bold vision.
There is an old song by the group 'Stealers Wheels' that pretty much sums up the reality of politics for moderates (like myself) in Alberta. Here is a small part of the lyric of Stuck In The Middle With You:
It's so hard to keep this smile from my face,
Losing control, yeah, I'm all over the place,
Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.
This week in Alberta, Premier Alison Redford was forced out resigned after two-years at the helm. Now granted, much of this was brought on by herself. For a woman who is probably the smartest person we have elected to the throne as Premier, she sure had an optics problem. There is no easy way to justify some of the decisions she made, in either spending, how she conducted herself, or who she surrounded herself. It's sad really, because she did do some good things - most notably taking an aggressive stance to fix the post-boom/Klein-era cuts that created a major infrastructure deficit. But it was clear she needed to go. You can't have the perception of the air of entitlement, even if other leaders in this country are just as bad or worse. If she (or us for that matter) walks away with one lesson, it's to make sure you have an effective crisis management strategy.
Well you started out with nothing,
And you're proud that you're a self made (wo)man,
And your friend, they all come crawlin',
Slap you on the back and say,
Please....Please.....
Now some might say that maybe the problem is with the Progressive Conservative of Alberta Party. They are a dinosaur party that has run it's course after 43 years of uncontested rule. Hogwash. They were elected for 43+ years because they effectively adjusted their strategy of governing to match the prevailing wind currents. When we needed growth, they provided growth. When we needed fiscal restraint, they provided fiscal restraint. And so the cycle goes.
A good party of any persuasion is a better one if they adjust their policies to match the reality, even if it goes against ideology. A tough pill to swallow, but all the leaders of all the parties in Alberta know that. To promise they won't adjust their ideology to the situation is complete bullshit. An NDP government can't install socialist programs when the price of dinosaur farts goes down. The WRP can't push an assertive socialist ideology in a province as diverse as ours. All any party can do is move the province a little to the right and a little to the left....by mere millimetres.
If the PC's loses the Wildrose, it better be because the WRP offered a better solution, not because they were simply the "best alternative." But the proof will be in the policy pudding. The "pin-the-tail-on-Alison" game is over. 2016 is a long way off, and they better make the best of that short window.
So what is the problem you ask?
The problem with Alberta is that you have clowns to the left, and jokers to the right.
Somewhere along the way in this province, you had politicians, both in government and opposition, who thought it was cool to pit people against each other. It wasn't obvious at first. It starts with passing legislation or spending decisions that pits urban vs. rural communities against each other. It's the 15-second sound bites that paint one side or one party or one person as "evil" and the other "good." It's making broad generalisations that we are all Martha's and Henry's, when in fact, few of us can relate to the lifestyle of said characters.
It's parties letting their base get nasty with the other side, on their behalf, and not intervening to tell them to tone it down. Or even worse, egging them on. Then the very next day, doing "selfies" with the "enemy", smiles and wine all around.
It's people, rightly or wrongly, defining what it means to be a big or little "C" Conservative or a big or little "L" liberal. It's people who pick on each other because they aren't their brand of "C" or "L."
It's people using social media or the actual media to promote their own profiles/beliefs/agenda's, but then take no responsibility because they are merely "engaged citizens", regardless of how accurate their allegations are.
What baffles me is about the whole Redford affair is that the expense records have been posted for many, many, many, months. I knew about them. One lazy Saturday in the summer, I stumbled across many of those records. But I had nothing to benefit from exposing them? First off, I didn't know the context of the trip. Did the ends justify the means? Secondly, it's not my job to do the footwork for the media in this province. Third, what are my expectations for a leader or an associate-level staff. Is it reasonable to expect someone of that calibre to stay at the Hotel 8 or eat at McDonald's, or fly economy?
I don't have the answers to that, because I didn't know enough about the context. I sure as hell wasn't going to put my reputation on the line on allegations without context.
So here we are, once again facing a leadership contest. Perhaps what is needed is a citizen expectation review.
In the meantime, as a moderate, I'm just going to sit back and watch. And think. And come to my own decision. Because I have clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right and:
There has been much ado on social media about the finale of The Biggest Loser: Season 15. The winner, Rachel Frederickson, lost 155 pounds and went from 260 lbs to 105 lbs, which was almost a 60% loss. Her BMI based on her supposed height of 5'4" puts her either "underweight" or just on the cusp, depending on what chart you read. (Some have her at 16, 17' or 18).
People on social media have gone crazy, saying she is "anorexic" (and from some posts, that is being kind). Sites like Diets in Review have raised alarm bells by saying things like:
@DietsInReview: Rachel’s 60 Percent Weight Loss is Nothing to Celebrate; Biggest Loser Should be Ashamed http://t.co/QFwbIlzxYk << What did you think? #BL15
While some good arguments are being raised in general about the show and their methods, I think we need to stop criticizing Rachel. Repeat after me:
People are not only numbers.
People are not defined by arbitrary numbers.
First off, we are not medical professionals. Even those who claim to be, they are not her medical professional. We have no idea what her health is like.
Secondly, a BMI chart is not the best indicator of...welll...anything really. It is a guideline (one that has been arbitrarily redefined over the years and varies in different countries). It doesn't factor in bone or frame structure.
By that chart, I should be in the hospital right now with a blown artery, oozing fat out of my nostrils. My husband is technically quite a bit "underweight" (more so than Rachel) and has no health issues related to his weight.
Thirdly, and most importantly, society needs to stop valuing people only by the number they represent on the scale. When some competitors "only" reached weight losses of 25-35%, people were critical for "not doing enough with the opportunity they were given." When they started, they were criticized for "letting themselves go."
You truly cannot win at any level of weight by arbitrary standards of society. It seems that the only acceptable weight of someone else is what society deems they are comfortable with. If you are too thin (naturally or by diet) or too fat (naturally or by diet) and they are uncomfortable, it's not ok.
My post isn't ignoring the very real issues of anorexia or obesity. I am not sweeping the very issue of disorders under the rug. But let's be clear that this is a competitor on a reality TV show that was given the best medical & professional supervision on this journey. She may very well have done something like hot sauana or detoxing for the weigh-in for one or two days prior to the final weigh-in, which was not indicative of her efforts prior too (which she claimed she ate 1600 calories a day in the weeks leading).
So enough with the shaming. Put down the pitchforks and focus on the fact that a beautiful determined person is exactly that - a person, not a number.
Today there is a campaign to raise awareness about mental health issues in Canada, spearheaded by Bell Corporation, call Let's Talk. (Click on the link if you wish to know more).The goal of the campaign is to raise awareness of mental health issues through conversation, removing the stigma that is often associated with one who suffers such a condition. It is a great campaign.
Mental health issues have plagued my family for generations. My mother herself was hospitalised for depression, a condition that came into our home like an unwanted house guest every few months. I myself have had periods of my life where I have experienced the sensation of a tiny rain cloud situated permanently over my head. Mostly I just float around with apathy, not really caring about what is going on, especially to myself.
The thing with mental health issues is that it gnaws at you whether you realize it or not.
Society has come to equate mental health issues as some sore of condition where emotions are dramatic and the person is unhinged. It's easy to spot the crazy person muttering obscenities in the wind. That is one aspect.
Most of the time though, it is this silent condition that you really don't notice because on the appearance, the person with whatever issue seems fine. Sometimes, the person themselves don't even realize they are experiencing anything until they are knee-deep in the condition. Others are aware, but like the song says "put on a happy face."
This week month, I have been feeling depressed, and most people would never know. I smile. I joke. But I also just don't care. I am tired. All I want to do is sleep or watch TV. The issues of my life and my struggles have piled on to the point where my default emotion, apathy, has kicked in and taken over. I am reminded this week of those I have lost - grandma, grandpa and Wendy. On the surface, everyone says I should have nothing to complain about. At least I don't have kids and can go wherever I want. At least I have a job. At least I have a home paid off.At least I am with someone. All are true. I am grateful. But that doesn't make things better for me or the emotions I feel. That doesn't mean I don't have struggles anyways.
Don't believe the picture people paint of themselves. We can all make our lives a Monet, when we really feel like a Picasso.
I have been lucky enough to have counselling services in the past. I have the tools that are helping me get through this. Writing seems to help. Getting out into fresh air. Talking about my feelings. Identifying though patterns and re-framing them. Removing myself from negative situations. I am using those tools to help me through this.
The truth is that not everyone is lucky enough to afford counselling services. Not everyone can pull themselves out. Not everyone shows their issues on their face. Not everyone realizes they are having mental health issues.
Dealing with mental health issues requires a fundamental way we look at all aspects of life, not just treatment. We need to review how schools both address mental health, and equip our children to deal with issues as part of the curriculum. We need to review workplace standards. Truth is, I pretty much have to lie about being sick just to have a day off. Would an extra week of holiday, or mental health days, or flex-days, or better mental health benefits work out for the employer in the long run? Do we do enough to promote preventative treatment in the health care system or society-at-large?
Mental health issues play such a big role in society, from crime to workplace productivity. The default reaction cannot be to sweep it under the rug and then pretend they don't have a factor in issues that emerge.
Let's start talking - and listening - about mental health issues everyday, not just today.
It's that time of year where I look back on 2013, file that away in my memory, and move forwards. Technically this should have been done at the end of last year but, like every other blog post I wrote in 2013, I am late. I can't say that 2013 was a particularly stellar year, but it was better than 2011 so there is that.
Like I did at the end of 2012, here is a recap of 2013. 1. What did you do in 2013 that you have never done before?
I became a fan of NFL football. My husband and I actually took the time to study the teams, sit down, watch some games, learn the rules and calls etc. It was great. I am hooked. 2. Did you keep your New Year's Resolutions, and will make any more next year?
Not really. I mean on the whole, I did make little achievements. Nothing to write home about, but achievements were made none the less. I ate a little better, but not to the level I expected. I moved a bit more, but not as much as I could of. That more or less sums up my efforts: did a little bit, but not a lot. My biggest let-down personally was spending so much time on social media, specifically Twitter. I lost track of what was important by thinking that was important. It is not, nor will it ever be. As for 2014, my only resolution is to spend more meaningful time with people that are important to me in real life. 3.Any major life events happen in your life?
Not like I had hoped. I thought by now I would be pregnant (at the very least). Turns out, my body has other ideas.
4. Where did you travel?
I spent a glorious week in Las Vegas at the Mandalay Bay. It was a fabulous trip and we did fabulous things. I didn't get as much time off this year because of the wedding in 2012.
5. What did you lack in 2013 that you would like more of in 2014?
Honestly, more general excitement or enthusiasm. I felt like I was going through the motions in 2013. Nothing overly exciting happened really. Things were fine. I mean, I can't really say 2013 was a horrible year. But I am generally indifferent of how my year was. The fertility journey probably had a role in my general apathy, because it was frustrating.The only bright spot was spending time with my husband and our Beaumaris Lake walks/NFL Football watching. I really enjoyed those, for it reminded me of the wonder of nature.
I would also like more time with friends. We didn't spend as much time with friends this year. It was weird that way, but with the business of general life... That concerns me greatly actually, and I want to make more of an effort to connect next year.
6. What dates from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory?
No specific date stands out. My birthday I suppose because we were in Las Vegas again. Husband's birthday, but for an entirely different reason. His birthday drove home some important lessons which I won't get into here. Let's just say, it made me pause and think.
7. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I would have to say getting laterally promoted into my new job, although I am not sure it was the greatest move I could have made in retrospect. But that might be more of an organizational issue than anything else.
8. What was your biggest failure?
Well this isn't really "my" fault because there wasn't anything I could do about it, but my inability to get pregnant. And the underlying reasons for it. I regret not doing something about my weight sooner as it may have gone a long way to making things easier in the fertility department. Again, it's not exactly my fault, but I feel the guilt none-the-less.
9. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I was diagnosed with possible Uterine Adenomyosis (they can only confirm with a hysterectomy, hence "possible") and a follocial cyst on my ovary that supposedly shrinks on it's own. Other than that, I was fairly healthy.
10. What was the best purchase you made?
I would have to say the purchases I made in Vegas, from the awesome hat that kept me sunburn free and looking fabulous, to the tickets to Shania and Michael Jackson 'One' Cirque du Soleil show, to the afternoon high-tea at the Four Seasons Las Vegas, and all the fabulous dinners and the cabana rentals by the pool. To travel and not indulge in memory-making experiences is so sad.
11. What things/people inspired you the most?
I was inspired by my friends, especially Karen. It was a hard year for her with her marital breakdown, but despite it all, she kept a fairly positive attitude and worked on self-improvement, leading to noticeable weight-loss. I don't know if I would have been as focused in a similar situation.
12. What things/people disappointed you the most?
My answer is pretty much the same as #11. My friends...but in a different sense with two tangents. On the one hand, it was disappointing not connecting with friends as much. It takes a lot of effort to maintain friendships. Some people/days are better than other peoples/days at doing so. Don't get me wrong, in many cases it is understandable. But in others situations, maybe not so much. All I can do is work harder myself. Maybe I need to focus on trying to arrange things that are easier to do, like board-game night or movie nights or coffee nights, etc... back to the basics.
The other aspect is that online "friends" maybe aren't the most supportive. Everyone loves you on Twitter when you go at it with political engagement. Re-tweets and likes and comments galore. But if you share a personal story? Or try to engage in non-political conversations? Perhaps not-so-much. It's time for me to review my list and remove the non-engagers (and the ones that simply offend). Quality not quantity.
And myself. This diet thing should be a breeze for me by now. It is not.
13. Where did most of your money go?
There were a lot of incidental expenses, such as a new dryer or a new furnace motor. Vegas wasn't cheap either. But really, those are a part of living and you either budget or deal with the situation. But if I had to look at the day-to-day small purchases that add up, it's probably my morning coffee addiction. Assume I spend $5 a workday, that is $100 or so a month, which is $1200 a year. I know I spend more than $5 a day. I can get coffee for free at work. My fatty lattes add calories and drain my bank account.
14) What did you get really excited about?
Seeing my husband every day after work. The fun things we did in Vegas. Joanne's pregnancy announcement. Karen moving to Calgary. The odd scale victory. In an apathetic year, the little things made me happy.
15) What song will always remind you of 2013?
The song 'Shot at the Night' by the Killers. I loved this song above all else. I listen to it all the time. The words resonate. About the person who wants more with their life, a chance to live.
16) Compared to this time last year, are you:
Happier or hardened? On the whole, I am happier, even if there were things that hardened me.
Thinner or fatter? Definitely fatter. Very disappointed with myself there.
Richer or poorer? Richer in many ways. Except money. LOL.
17) What do you wish you'd done more of?
I wish I had worked harder at losing weight, and not just going through the motions. I have nothing to show for my efforts. Because there is nothing to show when you don't put in any effort. Funny how that works. Specifically, I wish I had exercised more.
18) What do you wish you'd done less of?
By far, I wish I had spent less time on social media, especially Twitter. That is a time-trap. 5 minutes end up being your whole night. It is silly really. And all this time contributed to question #12...
19) What was your favourite TV program? Least favourite?
Normally I would say The Biggest Loser was my favourite. And it remains a favourite. But I was all over NFL Football in 2013 as well, especially Fox's coverage.
For least favourite, I would normally say most reality TV shows, and that is true. But can I add some talk-shows? The few days I had off, I was left saying "they cancelled soap operas for that?" It was pathetic, with Bethenny being the absolute worse.
20) What was the best book you read? Worst book?
I am embarrassed to admit that I didn't end up reading anything in 2013. Well, I did try The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot, based on Joanne's recommendation. I wanted to like the book more than I did. It started off interesting, but it lost my interest mid-way when they started dealing with her family. Meh. Sorry Jo!
21) What was your favourite song/album/artist?
I like a few songs, some of which I listed in my summer song blog post. But easily, my favourite song/artist etc. was The Killers's Shot at the Night (which I posted above). I also liked 'Roar' by Katy Perry.
Least favourite? Most of the country music this year I found I could barely tolerate. It was very pop-driven and generic...and unbelievable and cliched. Every male-artist I think drives a truck on an old-dirt road, slinging a beer with the girl he fancies. Meanwhile, the female artists were scorned lovers. Meh. 22) What was your:
Favourite film this year? I didn't go to any movies this year, so most of the movies I saw were on TV or DVD. I saw Ted, which I enjoyed more than I should have. I saw For The Love of the Game with Kevin Costner and The Natural with Robert Redford, both baseball movies, for the first time. I liked the former a bit more than the latter, but both were good. Oh, I also saw Parental Guidance on the place (starring Billy Crystal). It was enjoyable.
Worst film? I can't think of anything in particular. Made of Honor was on TV and I ended up turning it off mid-way. Was it bad, or was I just not in the mood? Meh.
23) What was the one thing that would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Any number of things. A pregnancy. Weigh Loss. A better job. Pick one.
24) How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?
Fat Pants 'R Us.
25) What kept you sane?
Beaumaris Lake walks with my husband. Just being able to unwind with fresh air and beautiful scenery.
26) Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Fancy the least?
Nobody really. I appreciate those who use their celebrity to do good things in society. But so much of what is reported is the trash stuff. I do secretly admire some of the European Royals (if I had to pick somebody). They weren't chosen for their roles, but they go out and raise awareness for causes. But if someone has a name ending with Kardashian, I am simply not interested.
27) What political issues stirred you the most? The least?
The most would probably be the High Level/Calgary floods. So much devastation that will have a huge impact on the future of Alberta for years to come. There were some politicians who rose to the occasion (Calgary Mayor Naheed Nenshi), and some who failed (Premier Alison Redford and her government, who continue to fail on this issue).
The least might be either the Idle No More protests or the Edmonton Election.
28) What news story did you like the most? Hate the most?
I liked stories of where communities and people came together and rose above to help in dire situations, especially during the Alberta floods. As Mr. Roger's says:
I dislike any story in which, while protesting, laws are broken or people are hurt. Whatever support I have for their cause goes out the window when that happens. I also dislike NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard) issues pertaining to social housing issues.
29) What sports moment did you like the most? Hate the most?
For me personally, the decision to start watching NFL. I have enjoyed watching the games, especially the Dallas Cowboys. It's a good bonding experience with my husband as well. There have been a few games this season that have been simply spectacular and enjoyable.
The most disappointing was the Edmonton Oilers. I so wanted to get back into hockey. I so wanted to cheer for the team. The Oilers had a lot of promise and this was supposed to be the year when all the rebuilding efforts paid off. It's far from that. It's not just a bad season. It's an embarrassing season.
30) Favourite blog (other than yours)? Blog Posts (other than yours?).
Fave Blog Post #1: The Un-Anniversary. This post moved me to tears. Part because I know her personally. Part because I was in her wedding and I wish I could have done something more before or during to help. Part because she is so open and honest about her painful journey. She is a strong woman my Wren.
Fave Blog Post #2: Roots & Wings. Jo weaved a beautiful story together. A very moving post.
Fave Blog Post #3:Am I REALLY ok? I discovered this blog, The Misadventures of a Darwinian Fail, over the Christmas holidays. This post resonated with me.
31) Favourite Blog Post (of yours?)
I didn't have a stellar blogging year. Mostly just Top Five posts, which were fine, except they were supposed to inspire me to blog more...not be my only posts. LOL. But there were some that were good.
My husband. He is such a great person and I love him so much. He is genuinely my best friend.
33) Who do you miss?
Well I always miss Wendy. This year drove home just how important she was.
I also miss the Dani that was enthusiastic about things. The skinny Dani. The healthy Dani. The confident Dani.
34) Tell us a valuable life less you learned in 2013.
I learned (and am continuing to learn) that real-life moments and people matter. More so than social media and the people you connect. Life, and pictures of, doesn't always need to be shared with strangers.
35) Quote a song lyric that sums up your year?
"It's like you're always stuck in second gear. When it hasn't been your day, you week, your month or even your year." - The Rembrandt's I'll Be There For You. 36) What do you look forward to in 2014?
Connecting with friends. Going out and doing stuff in this city of ours, rather than sitting at home. Maybe getting pregnant. Our Pacific Coast driving vacation. Living life.
I am so far behind in the Friday Fives that I will just do one big uninspiring post. When you are done reading my lame thoughts, go see the far more inspiring thoughts on this issues by visiting the blogs of A Warm Cup of Jo and The Brooding Woman. I suck.
Top Five Favourite Charities(originally supposed to be published November 8th). 5) Catholic Social Services & Chalice
Both Catholic agencies do amazing work and are highly rated as top charities in Canada. CSS deals with many inner-city and immigration services. Chalice (the #1 rated charity in Canada with the lowest administrative fees) helps people around the world.
4) The WIN House(Edmonton's Woman Shelter)
Without going into too much detail, I've lived in one of their shelters. They helped my mom during a horrible time of domestic and familial abuse. So thus, I help them. They do good things for women, getting them back on their feet and directing them to the resources to help them get out of abusive situations.
3) The Royal Canadian Legion's Poppy Fund
One of the easiest ways to help veterans, who did so much for us, is to make a donation and wear your poppy. It requires next to no effort, yet does so much good.
2) The Stollery Children's Hospital Charitable Foundation
When I was sick with Lofgren's Syndrome, I spent a lot of time at the University of Alberta Hospital visiting doctors or doing tests. Many of my appointments were near the Stollery Children's Hospital ER. Seeing these little vulnerable children suffering put my own into perspective.
1) The Edmonton Food Bank
Again, another super easy charity to help that does SO MUCH for the community. Having been on the recipient end of their assistance during my childhood, I value what they do. It takes no effort to leave an extra box or tin in the donation booth at Safeway. Or to bring a bag of non-perishable items from your pantry to events like Heritage Days or Candy Cane Lane.
Top Five Things in My Purse (originally supposed to be published November 15th) 5) My inhaler (can't leave home without it, especially in the winter) 4) Tampons (do they really need to be explained?) 3) Chapstick (winter wreaks havoc on my lips) 2) Coupons/Stamp Cards (I love bargains) 1) Starbucks free Ipad app/music cards (I keep picking them up. Probably should use them soon)
Top Five Things I Would Do If I Won the Lottery (originally supposed to be published November 22) 5) Donate to select charities: see above
4) Buy a Lake House
Doesn't have to be particularly large or fancy. Just a modest house on the lake within driving distance of Edmonton that we, along with friends and family, can get away to. Probably Ma-Me-O Beach or Wizard Lake.
3) Buy my mom a house
She did a lot for me. The least I can do for her, so that she can save the money she is paying in rent and put it towards her retirement and leisure pursuits.
2) Buy a vacation home in Vegas
We go there a lot. It's central to other travel destinations. My parent-in-laws and some of their relations travel there every year. Why not?
1) Travel
Oh this great world. So many places to go. So little money. A lottery might change that reality!
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I think that is it. I am all caught up! Except for today's post. There might be a simple recipe post I missed, but who am I fooling saying I cook with any great consistency. Boston Pizza exists for a reason.
Today is one of the rare days where I am not only caught up on my work, but also caught up on my make-work projects. I mean, I suppose there is things I could do. But why bother, when I can blog instead? In any event, I am so far behind in my Friday Five blogs that today is as good as any to catch-up.
There is much to love about the 80's. As a kid the 80's, toys were awesome. Toys are o.k. now I suppose, but they are all "safe for kids & the environment." Boring. Life is not lived unless there is a real risk of injury or lead-poisoning.
Without further ado, here are my favourite childhood toys.
5) The Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine.
If you want to know why childhood obesity really took a foothold in the eighties, I present you with the Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine. This was the first toy I can remember wanting so bad. Every kid wanted to make their own slushie. This led to other culinary food-as-toys like the E-Z Bake Oven. It was cool for a while, until I discovered it was a lot easier to just run out and grab some snow from the backyard...
4) The Rubix Cube
Ah, the timeless rubix cube. It was a great time waster. Until you got frustrated and just peeled the stickers off.
3) The Cabbage Patch Doll
Sad story that really speaks to the poverty of my childhood. When every kid in the world was getting this toy, I begged my mom for one. She obviously couldn't afford a real doll, so she got me a "imitation" Cabbage Patch. I knew it wasn't real, but other kids didn't. I wrote the signature on the bum myself, created a fake certificate using crayons, and named her Rebecca (my favourite name as a grade 2 kid). I think I eventually got a real one when Dad got a job in the patch. But I didn't love the fancy one as much as I loved Rebecca.
2) Atari
It's hard to believe in the world of Play Stations, X-Box's, and Smart phones that at one time, this was cutting edge technology. I spent hours trying to save my 2-dimensional pixels from the fire in towering inferno.
1) Board Games
There was nothing that passed the time better than board games...or 'bored' games depending on how you view this past-time. The game of Life in particular was one of my favourites. You built a life depending on the spin and route you took, with the choices you made earlier in the game having consequences later on. Which is kind of like real life. Except I am pretty sure I will never have the kind of money my character did in the board game, 'cuz real life sucks.
This is yet another catch-up post that I was going to originally blog about on October 18th until work interfered with my life, as it is apt to do.
This was a difficult topic to blog about because I had to narrow my choices down to five. I am that person who re-watches movies. I could probably make this a list of 12, and still struggle to narrow it down. I decided to use the "is-it-on-TV-a-lot-and-do-you-stop-every-time-to-watch-it" criteria. I eliminated Labyrinth and Willow primarily because they are never shown on TV. But that still leaves me with 10. Damn it.
To hell with it. It's my blog. So I will present to you my Top 10 movies I have watched repeatedly!
10) Pride & Prejudice (the 1995 BBC Version staring Colin Firth).
It's the movie that started my Austen-mania crazy. It is also the movie that introduced me to Colin Firth, for which I will be forever grateful. It also satisfies my inner-petticoat-fan girl. Plus any movie that showcases the Promenade dancing style is perfect. Simply perfect.
9) Tremors
This movie is hilarious. It is about underground worm-like monsters that try to swallow-up an isolated town. It stars Kevin Bacon and Reba. I could, and have, watched this repeatedly. It's low-budget but high entertainment. We shall never speak of the sequels, but this one is solid gold.
8) The Sandlot
You guys, this is a great movie. I have blogged about my love of this movie before, but I really cannot emphasise how much I love this movie. It is narrated in that nostalgic wonder-years type of format, but it is a great coming-of-age type of movie. It captures that innocent moment of youth that we all long to return to and hope our children experience. It's a baseball movie...but it is so much more than that. Even better if you can watch it on a big screen in the middle of a baseball field, like I did with Joanne and Steve that one perfect summer.
7) You've Got Mail/When Harry Met Sally
I know I am cheating by including two movies into one. But both these movies have two common links:
they both star Meg Ryan
they both perfectly capture the era of my youth
In WHMS, you have two people who meet at various stages of their life but do not hook up because the timing is not right. Then the timing becomes right, but that means a sacrifice of the safety of a platonic friendship.
In YGM, you have two people who meet on this new-found phenomenon called the internet, with it's dial-up-AOL-chat glory (hilarious in retrospect). In real life, they are "enemies" who become "frenimies" who become "friends" and finally a couple.
Both movies are like peeling back a layer of an onion to get to that magical romantic place.
6) The Breakfast Club
Don't you, forget about me.
Still relevant for today's youth. It's definitely showing it's age, but aren't we all? LOL.
5) Dirty Dancing
Nobody puts Baby in the corner. I watched this movie 100 times with my cousin Samantha and my aunt Shauna. When my cousin and I were younger, we would watch, rewind, watch again, rewind, watch again. And again. And again...
4) James Bond Movies (all of them)
My husband is a big James Bond fan. When I casually admitted last-year that I had never seen a Bond movie, my husband made sure to rectify that situation. So over a period of a few weeks, I watched ever single Bond movie in order that my husband preferred. I have become such a big fan. I engage in the debates over who the best Bond is, what is the best Bond movie, intro, girl, villain and so forth. No wonder this movie franchise will not die. Because it's good, yo!
3) Forrest Gump
This is one of my favourite all-time movies. I love the simplicity against the backdrop of a complex and fascinating history. A classic of our era.
2) A League of Their Own
I mad-love this movie. It is one of those movies that will appear on TV repeatedly every year over the summer. It is about women in baseball, but has depth and emotion. It's great, and has a killer good soundtrack too.
1) Love Actually
This is my husband and mine's favourite movie. We watch it every winter (and sometimes again in the Spring/Summer). We even had our wedding song based from this movie. It is "our" movie. I watch it when I am looking for hope in humanity, or want to spend a romantic evening with my husband. This is my favorite movie of all time. The intro above is food for thought.
