I will just say this and be done with it: I hate being a bridesmaid.
I love weddings. I love seeing friends who love each other be bound in neck chokening bonds of matrimony. I love the pretty decorations & the awesome food. But I can't stand being an actual part of the wedding. I hate being a bridesmaid.
Or you could say "Dani, you sucky old cow, stop bitching about how fat you look in the dress and be a better friend..you should have though about your weight a year ago".
But when you are stuffed into a dress that only suits skinny people, that costs an arm and a leg, and you are single with no chance of scoring with the bestman in the janitor hall, then what's the point of reinforcing your misery?