There is a baseball reference that I heard for the first time at the Edmonton Capitals Baseball game. The term "clap them out". What it basically means in the context of a baseball game is that the when someone from the opposing team is at bat, you give that slow exaggerated clap to distract them from the task and hopefully they will strike out and victory will be ours. It can also be used in other contexts which net the same result (the removal of a player from the field).
Today at work, we have the annual company golf tournament (*barf*). So the obnoxious level at work at in full force today. Everyone is wearing their God-awful golf shirts in a variety of rainbow colours...and no, this isn't a pride parade folks. It's a bunch of stuffy conservatives in khaki's and cleats walking the halls like Tiger Woods incarnates.
And when they are not talking about golf, they are pestering me with questions as to why I am not attending the all empowering golf tourney.
Obnoxious Co-Worker (who never talks to me any other time of the year unless forced): "Dani, why aren't you going to the golf tournament?"
Me: "Because I hate golf"
OCW: "But it will be fun".
Me: "I don't care"
OCW: "But you don't have to know how to play, it's Texas Scramble".
Me: "Unless that's an omlette of some sort, I don't care".
OCW: "Well why don't you come for the dinner after".
Me: "When is that?"
OCW: "It's around 5 p.m. onwards".
Me: " I don't go to company functions on my private time. I spend enough time here".
OCW: " Well we'll have fun..you should come".
Me: "I hate work. I hate golf. I hate people. So ..umm..yah...NO".
So here I am, at my desk, watching the rainbow connection pass by me talking all things golf.
And all I can think of is...
CAN WE CLAP PEOPLE OUT?
Wouldn't that be an awesome societal attribute? You just stand up and start the slow paced clap, and a few others join in, then the jackasses can leave?